butterfly
become what you wish to attract
You want more for yourself.
More opportunities.
A strong, healthy body.
Deeper relationships.
A career that makes you proud.
But you feel stuck—unsure how to make it happen.
News flash, no one is coming to save you.
It’s on you.
Become the person worth receiving opportunities.
Be the person who deserves to be in great shape.
Be the person worthy of strong relationships.
Be the person capable of building a successful career.
Your relationships, opportunities, and success are a reflection of who you are, not just what you want.
This mindset changed my life.
Become what you wish to attract.
Growing up, I was the kid who never had to work for anything. Naturally gifted—athletically and academically. I didn’t study. I didn’t practice. Everything came easy.
We all know how this story goes. At some point, talent stops being enough. People caught up—and then blew past me.
They knew how to work hard. I didn’t. I had never built that muscle. I coasted on talent for years, and when I finally started falling behind, it felt impossible to catch up.
I trapped myself in a box of my own making. A negative feedback loop. A story I told myself about who I was.
The truth? I had done no real work on myself. I had never pushed to improve at anything. I didn’t even know how to think for myself—my parents were my prefrontal cortex until I was 23.
Years passed. I felt like I wasn’t amounting to anything. I wallowed in self-pity, too lazy to make a change. Then, one day, something clicked.
A series of events forced me to think—really think—about what I wanted from life. About who I wanted to be, what I wanted to achieve, and how I wanted to show up in the world.
And I realized something simple but life-changing:
I wasn’t entitled to the life I wanted. I had to become the kind of person who deserved it.
The kind of person worthy of an amazing partner.
The kind of person disciplined enough to be in great shape.
The kind of person valuable enough to be hired for the job I wanted.
You don’t attract what you want. You attract what you are.
Level up before you fight the boss.
Why It Matters:
This mindset shift is everything. Most people are too busy chasing outcomes as opposed to becoming the person who makes them happen naturally.
If you want to be in great shape, there is no shortcut to making it happen. It takes years of dedication and consistency. It takes training hard and eating well.
You need to become the kind of person who takes care of themselves. It will never happen if you don’t abandon your former self.
Adopt an alter ego. Become someone who trains hard. Become someone who takes care of their body.
The big idea, is focusing on the input, not the outcome.
The same rule applies for finding a partner, making great friends, or building an amazing career.
Look at yourself in the mirror.
I wouldn’t have been my friend either. I was selfish, egotistical, and pessimistic.
Why would anyone want to date me? I was lazy, unambitious, and directionless.
I wanted to be in great shape, but why should I have been? No discipline, trash diet, and beyond sedentary.
What changed?
I started asking myself: What would the person I want to become do? How would they think? How would they act?
One decision at a time, I began aligning my choices with the life I wanted to live. Slowly, I adopted the habits, mindset, and actions of the person I aspired to be.
The Identity Shift Framework:
This is the bread and butter of self improvement.
To become someone you aren’t, you need a new set of habits. You need to change your identity.
If you struggle with making change in your life, I highly recommend reading “Atomic Habits” by James Clear.
Step 1: Define Who You Want to Be - What kind of person gets the results you want?
Do you want to be an investment banker? A body builder? An amazing mom?
Charismatic? Hardworking? Loving?
What do “loving” people do? Let’s think about it…
Well, they’re supportive in tough times, they are selfless and communicative. They are open, honest, and thoughtful.
They tell you they love you often, they are kind, patient, and present.
Step 2: Align Your Actions - Live like that person before the results come.
So you want to be more “loving?”
You don’t see yourself that way? Others don’t either? Who cares.
You’ve got the power to change—right now, today.
Send the text when you’re thinking about someone, or make the call, just so they know you’re thinking about them.
Tell people you love them—fuck your ego.
Ask the hard questions. Ignore the bullshit answer.
“How are you?” — “Good. You?” — “No, how are you really?”
Show up for your friends and family when they need you, even if it’s inconvenient.
Remember the tiny details—it shows you listen.
Lend people your ears, even if you don’t have advice to give.
Bite your tongue when you want to talk over someone. Mute yourself. Take notes when people speak. Make it about them.
Make people feel seen, be their biggest cheerleader.
In my mind, this is how a “loving” person acts.
These are the things the person I want to be would do.
I won’t change unless I embody the right mindset.
I’m certain I can become that person by acting like I already am.
Step 3: Build the Feedback Loop - Small wins reinforce your new identity.
Consistency.
You are what you do consistently.
Structure your day to align with what you want to achieve—and stick to it.
Find a way to make it a routine. Make it boring, make it mindless if you have to. Automate it. Use AI, I don’t know—just make it happen.
I keep as many birthdays in my calendar as I can.
I have a recurring daily reminder to text (or call) one person.
I try to mute myself, literally and figuratively, when talking with others.
When people mention things they want, I write them down… gift ideas stockpiled for later.
“Oh my goodness, you remembered!”
And the list goes on…
Each time I act on these things, I add a tally to the column reinforcing my new identity.
All of these actions show the people I care about that I love them. At least, I hope they do.
While I’m not sure I’m a loving person yet, I know I’m already acting like one. Soon enough, it’s just a matter of time before I take down the hardest critic of them all—myself.
Almost overnight, I flipped a switch. I created a new version of myself in less than 6 months.
I am not some monster who was born disciplined and hardworking. Actually it was the opposite.
But I believed in myself, I implemented good habits, and I adopted a new mentality.
Every single day, I worked towards becoming Dante 2.0.
Why? I was living the life I was imagining before I achieved any of the results.
In my mind, I was someone who had a great career, loving relationships, a strong body, and an amazing partner.
In time, that was my reality.
What’s more, you become a little gravity well, pulling others in with you.
People recognize your momentum and latch on. Elevate yourself, and you elevate your circle. Elevate your circle, and you elevate your life.
It snowballs so quickly. Your growth compounds as you continue improving yourself and your environment.
The right people join the momentum, the wrong ones get left behind.
Focus on your own growth, and the right people, opportunities, and success will naturally follow.
Take care of the garden, and the butterflies will come.
Thank you for reading.
-Dante