The supplement industry has built a billion dollar business around nutrients you can get from a $3 tin on almost any shelf, in any grocery store, in any country on the planet.

Most protein shakes have 10 ingredients. Fish oil is $40 a bottle. B12 is $30. A tin of sardines costs less than $2.

This is no wellness fad. It’s a grotesquely lopsided math equation even a baboon wouldn’t ignore.

Meanwhile the entire world is panicking about wages not rising with inflation, gas hitting $5 a gallon, and groceries costing an arm and a leg. Fear not. There’s an eject button.

Ahem. Tinned sardines. Sent to its room and forgotten about because it comes in a can.

Here’s why you should be eating these little fish instead of your $12 breakfast sandwich.

The can itself

On the surface, the can seems like the compromise. It’s always been where I assume food goes to die. All nutrition stripped away, preservatives added, scientifically engineered into something borderline inedible. Hell, even the smell would lead you to believe you’re eating roadkill.

Vegetables are one thing, but meat? Protein? No way I’m eating dead fish out of a can. I always thought that any food whose main vehicle was a metal chube couldn’t possibly be healthy.

This couldn’t be further from the truth, at least for the sardine. The can is deceiving you. The can, quite possibly, is as important for the fish as the fish is for the can.

They’re stuffed in there like sardines (get it?) with no preservatives and without oxygen, making the inside of the tin a perfectly sterile environment.

“No oxygen, no flame.” - Sky High

The little buggers were caught and sealed within hours, so the nutrients remain abundant. The EPA and DHA (what you take your fish oil for) are just as intact as the day they were plucked from the ocean. Frozen in time like Han Solo. W.

And because no fridge is needed and the shelf life is long, it keeps for years which means it’s one of the rare foods you’re actually likely to eat instead of forgetting about and tossing later. Low waste, low spoilage, good for the wallet.

Stuffing these little fish bones and all into a can with oil or water turns the tin into a little sardine bath where they fall asleep in the tub and wake up pruned. Months marinating in there soften the icky parts that turn you off. Ya know, the bones, the eyeballs, etc. Those soft bones are an S tier calcium supplement.

Finally an alternative to spamming cheese!

Most importantly, the can turns the fish into the same protein bar you’d take on any airplane. Something you can throw in your backpack and have on tap for when you get hungry. It makes it a convenient, portable, and healthy snack or borderline meal you can have within 30 seconds of desiring to do so.

Buy the damn tin.

What’s actually inside

Sardines are absolutely packed with nutrients. Let’s speed run this.

Omega-3s. Way more than the average daily intake, about 1.5 grams in a single tin. Vitamin B12. Iodine (you even know what that is? Me neither). CoQ10 (the $25/month pill in the supplement aisle is already in here).

Complete protein. 20-25 grams per serving. Vitamin D. Selenium (no need to take Brazil nuts anymore). Calcium and phosphorus (BONES!), iron.

And it’s low on mercury (more on this later).

This is not just nutrition that looks nice on a spreadsheet. Omega-3s are the go to for inflammation and heart health. Same with the brain. They pull triglycerides down.

Vitamin D and calcium are tremeeeendous for your bones.

The protein bar could never.

Buy the damn tin.

Math is indeed, mathing

I’m not a math guy, but if you zoom out and look at sardines against say, chicken breast, gram for gram I think sardines are more expensive. Indeed, I will concede. However, this is not a clean comparison. Apples to oranges.

With sardines you are not just buying protein. Chicken breast is literally just a slab of meat. Limited nutritional value aside from being a wonderful low calorie protein delivery mechanism. A tin of sardines is a nutritional powerhouse. The protein is just a bonus.

Take all the nutrients from above, stuff them into a little care package, give it 20g of protein, and call it a day. All for a buck fifty.

Buying each of these items individually costs more than the tin that already contains them. The supplement aisle is the same shit, sold separately. Run the napkin math on fish oil, vitamin D, B12, CoQ10, and calcium and you’re past fifty bucks a month, easy. Every month. For what’s already in the tin.

So when you actually stack it up, the tin isn’t expensive. It’s a multivitamin you can eat. Call it a supplement if you so choose.

Buy the damn tin.

Mercury and metal

Even little babies know that eating fish is a good idea for one’s health. The Mediterranean diet has been touted as the healthiest diet on the planet, which, to be honest, for most people it probably is. Safe bet.

But as one makes their way down the self improvement rabbit hole, fish and seafood in general aren’t as perfect as they initially seem. Like with most things, more is not always better. There’s a little canary in the coal mine:

Heavy metals and mercury.

The truth is that our oceans are pretty disgusting. Waste and plastics and oil accumulating en masse. It’s very sad that somehow, we land dwellers, taking up 2% of all space on earth, have somehow shit the bed on the other 98%.

Most fish contains some level of mercury and heavy metals. Up and down the food chain, these contaminants accumulate in all sea creatures but big fish, big predators, carry the most. Tuna, swordfish, shark (I’ve never had shark). They’re big. They eat other big seafood. They live a long time. More time for toxins to build. These are not healthy options to be spamming if you like seafood.

Sardines, on the other hand, being on the smaller end, are short lived plankton eaters. They don’t live long enough or eat enough to accumulate mercury the way a great white shark would.

To get sciencey for half a second, sardines clock in at roughly 0.013 ppm of mercury (parts per million). Swordfish sits at 0.995 ppm. I don’t know exactly what this means but I know that’s roughly 75 times less.

Good enough for me.

Okay, that handles the fish. Now onto the can.

Most cans are made of steel. The metal in the fish comes from the ocean, not the tin. But it is good to be mindful of BPAs. The container itself is usually fine, but the lining can be a different story. Simple rule when shopping is to look for BPA-free, which most good brands already are.

Sardines are one of the safest aquatic animals to eat, consistently.

Buy the damn tin.

Seed oils

I actually cringe when I hear the words “seed oils.” Something about how the lingo has spread to the boomers makes me feel like it’s a muggle saying Voldemort.

But they’re still a worthwhile concern, and worth avoiding where you can, even if your mom and your mom’s mom are finally getting the message.

Anyway. While the panic has gone overboard, the underlying issue hasn’t. Plenty of supposedly healthy foods get sneakily packaged in nasty oils that turn them from something delicious and nutritious into something unhealthy. Sardines are no exception. You need to be mindful of what the fish is packaged in. So what do you do?

Read the can! Your options are simple. Buy fish packed in olive oil or water. Make sure there’s no soybean oil or UVO (Unidentified Vegetable Oil, coined).

To be honest, this is my biggest gripe with tinned fish. You don’t get much visibility into where the olive oil is coming from. As a snob, this makes me sad. I usually opt for water and then add some of my favorite EVOO.

But I’m an optimistic guy. Eating a can of sardines really does make my body happy. I feel good when I eat them.

Anything that makes me feel that way has to be a green light. So for me, buying sardines packed in EVOO is just bonus nutrition. One of the best fat stacks you can get into your body in two minutes flat without having to think too hard.

Oh, and one more thing on the label while we’re looking, make sure the fish are wild caught. Most already are because they’re too small and cheap to farm (another reason they stay clean).

Remember, BPA free tin, wild caught, packed in EVOO or water.

Buy the damn tin.

Why the world is negligent toward these beautiful creatures

Sardines are flying under most people’s radar. Why?

First and foremost, they’re ugly. They’re tiny fish. They have tiny heads. You can see their eyes. There are bones.

I promise, when my sisters ask me what my diet looks like I can literally feel them recoil when I mention eating tinned fish. I get it. ThEyRe FiShY - yes they are. You know what Omega 3s are baby sis?

The mind and the nose play a big role in taste, and what doesn’t look or smell appetizing is hard to vouch for. Luckily for people like me, my first priority with nutrition is not taste. Nor should yours. Anyway, what’s good for you usually tastes pretty great. (Sardines are genuinely very tasty, just take a little getting used to, I promise).

Problem two is that they come in a tin that looks like wartime rations. No one wants to be eating them when they can have the latest TikTok Famous Acai Bowl.

Everything we’ve ever eaten out of a can has been a cheap alternative to the real thing or a poverty heartbeat sensor. Spam, canned vegetables, Chef Boyardee raviolis. We fear the tin because of what it often means.

Historically, the people eating sardines weren’t the well off caviar crowd. Sardines were what you ate when you didn’t have a lot. I can just imagine little Johnny going over to his friend’s house and the entire place smells like a boat in the Mediterranean. It was basically a poor virtue signal, which understandably, people probably wanted to escape from at all costs.

Jokes on little Johnny, his buddy spamming tins of sardines probably had elite cardiovascular health. I digress.

What’s most interesting is that this very negligence (to some extent) is what’s made sardines what they are today. This aversion has let them sit on a shelf untouched for an entire generation. They’re caught, cleaned, packed in oil. No science optimization, no lab testing, no private equity. A prized possession.

Meanwhile, everything else on the shelf has been corrupted by big wigs sitting in big chairs in big suits. Everything else has been string cheese-ified. But not the sardine.

So instead, they sit on the shelf in Costco for $11 for six tins for 120 g of protein.

Buy the damn tin.

How to actually eat them

Sardines might be one of the lowest effort to nutrient ratio foods on the planet (does this make sense? I made it up.)

You really don’t have to do anything to get in a healthy, tasty, affordable meal very quickly.

For starters you can just pop the tin like a bottle of water and suck em down. Fork optional. My girlfriend often finds me hunched over the sink like Smeagol absolutely destroying a tin of fish.

“Dante this is disgusting.” If my sisters can do it, so can you, I promise.

Or if you’re feeling fancy, you can dress em up and plate them. Sourdough. Herbs. Citrus. A glug of olive oil. Flaky salt. Delish!

Most importantly, the tin of sardines is an elite travel companion. Can go anywhere you want it to.

When you find yourself in a protein/meal pinch, you can whip them out like that chocolate kid from Kicking and Screaming.

Mash em into your avocado toast in the hotel room. Stir them into pasta with garlic and chili flakes. Drop them into a random salad like tuna, but better. (Tuna has more metal.)

Simple, efficacious, low effort, tasty.

And for you, special one, here are a few brands I like. No ranking, just my favorites.

Wild Planet is numero uno and the brand I trust the most. I like King Oscar and Season. Fishwife wins on packaging, makes the fish feel upscale. Natural Catch and Bela are both good. Even Patagonia’s in the game.

I promise, once you start treating these things like eggs or protein bars, you’ll never go back.

They last forever, fit in a glove compartment, and are wildly nutritious.

And, once you get over yourself, they’re absolutely delicious.

Buy the damn tin

I know, I know, a can of sardines is nowhere near as flashy as a grass fed and finished ribeye. It doesn’t have the same primal draw. It looks like something your grandma would eat with her ancient cup of joe, social media influencers aren’t yapping about them (until now), and they make your entire house smell like a fishing boat.

Nonetheless, we need to get over ourselves. Prime rib can’t be stuffed in a backpack.

If you’re not eating sardines a few times a week, you should be. If not for your health, then for your wallet.

I promise, once you see, you can’t unsee.

Buy the damn tin.

Godspeed,

— Dante

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

— Viktor Frankl

I run a lot and I’m still aggressively average. If this is you, let me tell you why and how you can avoid staying there much longer.

But Dante, why should I listen to an average runner claiming he can make me great?

Would you rather take advice from the guy who fought a slice for 25 years and finally fixed it, or the scratch golfer who never had to?

The scratch golfer. Same. Please keep reading lol.

I’ve witnessed many a running journey. I’ve seen people run marathons and never run again. I’ve seen people become elite runners in months. I’ve seen first hand what works and what doesn’t. I know what makes the great runners great, and I understand completely why I’m stuck being average.

This letter is not only a letter to myself, but to younger me, who would’ve benefitted from hearing these things, so as to not wind up where he is now.

Back when I started running, and for roughly an entire year, my only goal was to, well, run. I probably ran in lifestyle New Balances. I have no clue how far or how fast I went. I didn’t track distances, speed, or heart rate.

I ran to that tree and back. I came home tired, I came home healthy. I ran hard when I felt like running hard and I took it easy when I felt like I needed to. I never got hurt, I never felt guilty, I was just running. I was probably making great progress.

This, was running by feel. Now, it’s all about numbers, stats, pace. It’s about outfits, social posts, and making friends. When running drifts from a thing you do to a social anchor, things can start to go south.

We ego run, push it when we shouldn’t, stretch high mileage for the sake of it. We buy cool shoes because they look good, not because they feel good. We let others, algorithms, and apps tell us what we should be doing. We get fomo, run too hard, and end up on the bench. We’ve lost that childish intuition and natural intention because of the great running boom. If we want to be great, we need to start running for ourselves.

In my opinion, there are three things great runners have that make them great. Yes genetics matter, yes body composition matters, but I have those things, and I can’t progress for shit. Three things beyond a good diet, solid speed workouts, and natural born talent:

Intuition, intention, and durability.

Intuition is what younger me had by accident: the ability to listen to my body. Intention is what younger me never had: a plan built around what intuition was telling him. And durability: the floor that makes everything else possible.

As I sit here writing this, I’m realizing I’ve lost all three.

Let’s dive in.

Intuition

In war, information is the most powerful weapon. Not nukes. Not machine guns. Not rockets. Information.

In running, the same is true. Your greatest weapon is not zone 2 training, or intervals, or ice baths. It’s your intuition. The little information factory in your brain. It’s what your body is telling you, all day, every day, before, during, and after a run.

We all have it. The problem, is that we fucking suck at listening to it.

You slept for 3 hours and then tried to PR the 5K. Your calves were absolutely cooked, you didn’t foam roll, and now your achilles feels like it might explode. You didn’t hear the little rascal telling you that you were completely dehydrated and should stop for a drink. You didn’t admit to yourself that you had 7 beers too many and should’ve chilled on the long run.

You need to become chief noticer. And then you need to actually listen.

Great runners, are great listeners. But they didn’t become so overnight. They had to learn how to give their subconscious the floor like anyone else.

Sure, to outsiders, it doesn’t really look like they’re doing anything at all. But at one point, they were. Through time, they’ve built a second brain that manages all of this without having to think about it consciously. It’s second nature. They just know. Know when to push, when to pull back, when to cut a mile or two, and when to throw in some strides.

For normies like us, we have to manufacture it. Consciously. Consistently. And one day, hopefully, it’ll be automatic.

If you stay stuck in a loop of running influencers and elite friends telling you what to do, when to do it, and how, you’re going to wind up injured, hating the sport, burning out, or resenting your friend.

The intuition is there, I promise, we just ignore it for the sake of our local legend status. Give the little fella some room to breathe!

If you’re going to listen to anyone intentionally, might as well let it be yourself.

Now, what to do with it?

Intention

In looking at my Strava, it says I’ve been on 566 runs. What’s funny is that if I had to guess, less than 50 of these really mattered. 50 of these, done with intention and real consistent effort, have driven 99% of all the progress I’ve made as a runner. The hard short runs, and the long slow runs, most likely.

And on maybe 3 of those 50, I got hurt. Shin splint in my left leg. Right hip. Left achilles. (No intuition. Ran hard anyway because I was supposed to, according to Strava, Aura posts, socials, ego, etc.)

And the other 516? I have absolutely no idea. I guess that’s what happens when you replace intuition with metrics, and metrics with absolutely nothing. Big swings. Big setbacks. Long plateau.

I’ve got the bones of a sub 3 hour marathon (my goal) right in front of me, the heart to make it happen, and absolutely no capability to go for it. I am consistently injured, unable to stack hard sessions, and trapped running in zone 1. My body is weak.

That’s what 516 runs with no plan looks like. At least now I know.

Intuition tells you what’s happening. Intention is what you do about it.

So, as much as younger me really enjoyed running to run, if I really want to improve it’s simply not enough. I need a plan that knows me and where I need work.

Take for example the most popular advice in the sport. The “run slow to get fast” propaganda.

In a vacuum, it’s good advice. Call it zone 2, build your base, consistent steady mileage, whatever. I followed it relentlessly. Yes, I got more efficient. Yes, I could go further. But no, I really didn’t get faster.

It wasn’t until I started speed work, intervals, VO2 max type sessions that I finally made the progress I wanted.

But what I didn’t know, was that speed work would be my achilles heel (literally).

All my favorite running influencers, YouTube videos, books, and shorts were subscribing this session and that session. I was listening and they were working! I was getting faster, I was motivated, and I was having fun. But these plans have no idea who I am. They have no idea that I’ve got fragile lower legs. Weak calves and weak feet.

So, while, I could run slow and steady and far forever with no issues, the second I added speed consistently, I broke. And this keeps happening. Three times now. Each time I have to dig myself out in the gym, heal my shit up, then overbuild the area so it doesn’t happen again. And every time it’s the same loop. I see progress. I get excited. I overdo it. I feel something bad creeping in. (In hindsight… Always in hindsight). I ignore it because I’m excited. I get hurt.

I see the progress, I just can’t make it stick.

So I revert back to zone 1. Hold my base, and watch all the progress I just made drain back out. Then start over.

So, while the run slow idea is great, for me, it’s just not the bottleneck. And if I’m always looking to others to tell me what I need to work on, I’ll keep missing that.

I knew my body couldn’t handle speed work. I cannot run fast at high volume. I knew it after the first time. I just never built a plan around knowing it. If I’d designed the whole thing around the one thing that shits in my cornflakes every morning, I’d have hit my goal a year ago. Such is the ego and the greed of wanting to be great now.

That’s intuition. That’s intention. It’s listening to your body enough to know where you stand before a run, and after, and having a good plan for what you’ll do when you feel off. It’s not about following some general plan from Runna.

A plan built without intuition is a plan that gets you hurt. A signal without a plan is a feeling you ignore.

You need both!

Durability

If I could give younger me one piece of running advice, it would be this: If you want to be great, you actually need to be able to run. Consistently.

Staying healthy is priority number one. It should be non-negotiable. Not mileage, not volume, not specific shoes, not being lean, not improving your VO2 max. Staying healthy. Without question.

Easy to ignore.

Like I said, I’ve been doing this a while. Something I’ve noticed is that the people who end up with the best results or the fastest progress, are also the ones with the best durability. They don’t get hurt. They stay in the game.

I have friends I’ve watched push high mileage and multiple speed workouts a week, leaving me wondering how they’re recovering so fast. How they aren’t hurt. I’ve also seen friends hit 20 miles a week and crater.

Everyone talks about how running slow is the best way to progress, or how intervals are what make you fast.

Both true. But not the foundation.

What makes these training modalities possible (and efficacious), is actually being able to go out there pound pavement week over week (with adequate recovery).

You cannot, and will not, make progress if you cannot run. Durability is what grants you that opportunity.

Running rewards consistency, not just intensity. You have to nail hard sessions over and over to see any progress at all. You can’t burn the match one week, be hurt the next, power through a shit one, then take a week off. You have to show up and nail the session. And then nail it 12 more times in a row. And if that means dropping a rep, or taking a few seconds per mile off so you can show up again tomorrow, it’s worth it.

You need to be proactive, not reactive. Rehab. Strength train. Stretch. Mobility. Sauna. Ice bath. If you want to be great, you need to stay in the game. This should be the foundation of any running program, and it is essential, perhaps most important part of all, that this is the starting point.

(Let me know if you want an essay on what I do outside of running to be good at running!)

This is what I wish I heard when I started running. In fact, I think it’s step one to being successful in the sport.

Because being great isn’t being great unless you stay great.

Patience, Padawan. You’ll get there.

Enjoy it

At the end of the day, this sport is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be something you enjoy. It’s an individual sport for a reason. You’re competing against yourself, and the very nature of the world has disrupted that. You’re now competing against everyone, every day, because of apps and influencers and everything telling you what you should be doing.

What you should do, is run for yourself. Listen to your body. Design a program that works for you, that lets you move forward (even if more slowly than you’d like) in a way that lets you stay healthy. In a way that lets you be consistent. If you really love running, I’m sure you’d much rather run slow than not run at all.

You’ll get there. But you need to take your time. Enjoy the ride. What are you in such a hurry for? You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.

I promise, the anxiety you feel from not achieving your goal is nowhere near as bad as not being able to run at all because you ego ran when you were injury prone. Trust me. I’ve done it too many times to count. I can only hope that after writing this essay, I will have learned my lesson. Who knows!

Good luck out there. Don’t quit. Rooting for you.

Dante

Things I’ve been thinking about lately:

• Oral health

• Embracing boredom as a creative process

• Taking what I’ve been given and not wanting more

Kids come home from school and hangout with their friends on Discord instead of going to play roller hockey. They’re soft and gentle because they’ve never had their knees shredded to a pulp by the cheese grater that is a sports court. They eat Oreos and kettle cooked potato chips and drink Celsius to fuel their evening Fortnite binge. All to wash it down with a little chit chat with a chat bot on a TikTok riddled cell phone.

I’m 26, trying my best to fight unlimited screen use, eat a clean diet, and still find it unbelievably difficult to resist the temptation to rot at every stoplight, elevator ride, or wait in line. The young brain, the developing brain, is more plastic than mine by a landslide. Far more sensitive to stimulation and fueled by processed food and sugar that only accentuate the problem. The only way my mind can imagine a modern day 12 year old’s brain is “amusement park.” Cotton candy, arcade games, lights, loud music, funnel cake. A complete shit show. Luckily (or unluckily) I no longer have to imagine. I’ve seen it first hand.

Recently, I sat down on an airplane next to a kid who was somewhere between the ages of 10 and 13. I’m not exaggerating, his level of zoomerism was absolutely peak.

He had maybe 4 different snacks, all candy and carb infused. He played no less than 7 different games. He watched 5 minutes of 4 or 5 different movies. He watched highlight reels of Saquon Barkley. He listened to music, if you can even call it that, the rate at which he was changing songs. He was genuinely hitting the woah on beat drops. He was messaging homies and chicks on Snapchat, tilting his phone toward me to show me that he too had a girlfriend. The flight was an hour and he had successfully done more in that hour than I had in my entire day. Calorically, he probably ate more than my girlfriend had in 24 hours. What’s more, with each win in a game or song swap, he actually looked to us to get a reaction. He wanted our approval. And we gave it to him.

He was a nice kid. But absolutely, and utterly, beyond cooked. So far gone. It was honestly my first glimpse into what zero parental control can do when it comes to food and devices in the 21st century. My girlfriend and I got off the plane and the only thing she had to say was “omg I want to hug his little brain.” The kid just couldn’t calm down and it’ll probably be a long long time until he can, if ever.

I left that airport sad at the prospect of the world and what this means for future generations, and what I think I may do with my own kids when, one day, I hopefully sit in that seat.

Not impossible

I’m at that age where friends and family members are starting to settle down. Getting married, having kids. So I feel closer to the subject than I ever have. Naturally, I’ve started asking questions. What’s fun. Challenging. Easy. Unexpected. And it’s become abundantly clear that the biggest challenge my generation is going to face with our children is the screen time problem. We’re all acutely aware of the issue, and most young parents I know are working to figure it out. But sadly, over and over, every time it comes up, I end up hearing the same sad thing: “I just don’t think it’s possible to manage.” Already?! Your baby is 3 months old! Not yet!

Frankly, this irritates me.

Not because it’s not hard to manage, but because I simply hate the idea of throwing in the towel so easily. We cannot. And of course, yes it’s easy for me to cast judgement when I’m not sitting in the seat. I get that. I don’t doubt for a second it’ll be incredibly challenging. I’m absolutely certain I’ll bottle it at some point with my own kids. But hard doesn’t mean impossible. Anything worth doing won’t be easy. In my opinion, it doesn’t really matter how challenging it is. It needs to be done. For our kids and the generations that follow.

And honestly, I don’t even think it’s the regulation that makes this hard, at least not in the early years. A 3 year old doesn’t know what an iPad is unless you hand them one. The hard part is the temptation on your end. Handing your kid a device makes your life significantly easier in the moment. It’s harmless today, so who cares.

You must not fall into this trap. You can’t. It is not a one time choice, it’s hundreds of tiny moments that seem completely benign now, but cost an arm and a leg later.

Which means your life as a parent will be far more difficult than the life of the parent who just doesn’t give a shit. You won’t be able to tranquilize your kid with an iPad when they start crying at the restaurant. You won’t be able to hand them an iPhone when they’re 8 and going to practice for the first time, you’ll have to figure something else out. You won’t be able to spam TikTok reels yourself, because monkey see monkey do.

The easier road is right there, and most people are going to take it.

Which brings me to my first and most important point (and the mindset I think I’ll have when I have kids).

Lead by example

The best way to enforce habit change on others is to lead by example. Asking your buddy to come to the gym day after day never works. Getting in great shape in front of him over six months sure does. Behavior is contagious, and I can’t even imagine how much more this applies to kids. You are their idol. You are their protector. They look to you for safety, knowledge, support. Everything you do, they’ll do, in time. Their early years are the foundation, the base for everything else that follows.

This is the most important part of this entire essay and if you take nothing else away I think it should be this.

If you want your child to live a life more device free, then you yourself must live a life more device free. You set the bar without even realizing it. You create the normal. The hardest part about this entire problem, is that we, as parents, aren’t equipped to make this happen. We enjoy our phones, our technology, our televisions. We like camping out in front of screens and swiping and gaming.

And so when our little Roger finally enters the chat, he enters the ecosystem that we’ve created and live in. This will be hard to accept, and many won’t, but it’s the best thing you can do for your child.

You can’t doomscroll while eating lunch with your son. If you sit on the computer playing video games, naturally they’ll get curious and want to try. If you take out your phone at the restaurant, they’ll think this is okay.

You must be different. You need to live a life of limited screen time, at least in front of them. You need to create a tech free biome for them to grow up in. Build a big library and read books. Watch movies and TV sparingly. Use your phone as a communication device, not an entertainment factory. If your evenings look like sitting on the couch watching American Idol, then that’s what they’ll expect. If your mornings are filled with breakfast and Instagram reels, that’s what they’ll expect. If daddy sits in his office all day behind the big light producing cube, that becomes the normal.

YOU, not your neighbors, not the kids’ friends, not the randoms at the restaurant, decide what the home looks like. You decide if there are TVs in the house or if phones are allowed at the dinner table. You get to decide (as a byproduct of the environment you create) how your child spends their free time.

If you want your kid begging you for iPad time then make that default down time. If you want them to find an alternative, then you must provide one.

This, is perhaps an even bigger challenge.

You are the alternative

What actually happens if your kids don’t have screens? Well, your kid is going to be bored. A lot. The Nintendo Switch kid down the street has infinite stimulation on tap. Yours doesn’t. That gap has to be filled by something, and that something is you.

This is what actually makes it hard. It’s not just leading by example. Not just the environment you create, or the rules you set. It’s the time you will lose. Strip away the device that captures their individual attention, and they will look to you instead. As they should.

You must actively fill the void. You cannot expect a 4 year old to be okay sitting still. It falls on you to fill what would have been screen time with something else. Doodle with them. Take walks. Shoot hoops. Do 150 jumps into the pool. Sit on the floor and build legos for an hour when you’d rather be on your phone. If you don’t fill that space, they’ll reach for the alternative. At home, you’re the alternative.

But Dante, I have work calls. Responsibilities. Places to be. Absolutely you do. But understand the tradeoffs. The more often you make it a habit, the more often it becomes default. It’s a slippery slope, and one that’s hard to climb back from.

Just do your best not to pass your child off to the babysitter (the iPad) for as long as you can. I know I’ve been harsh, but this has never been about being perfect. You can’t be. Screens are part of the world.

Even if you have a perfectly insulated home, they’ll only stay inside it for so long. Eventually they’ll have friends. Eventually they’ll go to little Johnny’s house. Eventually they’ll leave your grasp, and the world out there is not built like the home you’ve built. You won’t be able to be the alternative forever. Which is why, before they ever walk out that door, you need to do everything in your power to set them up for success.

You, as the parent, make the rules and shape their values. Remember that.

The rules apply to everyone, you included

In my opinion, there are two ways to fail at this. One is doing nothing. The other is doing too much.

We all knew the kid whose parents were ridiculously strict and then the kid goes off to college, finally has freedom, and goes absolutely nuclear.

The other is the kid on the airplane, whose parents did nothing at all.

Both lose. I think the answer lives somewhere in the middle.

If you think about it, children don’t really have friends or leave the house until they’re like 5. These are the prime years to start building a foundation, so when they take their first leap from the nest, their brains are hopefully in better shape than most. Your job in these years isn’t to ban everything, it’s to give them structure.

Don’t go full neanderthal. Kids need to know what technology is. The point isn’t to live in a cave, it’s to design an environment that’s healthier and more conducive to appropriate use.

These screens do not give a shit who you are or where you come from. They are scientifically designed to fuck with your biology. It does not matter if your child reads 100 books by age 2; the second they touch an iPhone and get their hands on Jet Pack Joy Ride, they’re cooked. It will be the best thing they’ve ever done in their life.

But you also can’t do nothing. There are a million ways to manage this, but one thing holds true: you must do something, even if they hate you for it.

So set limits. A set amount of time. Even better, a period of time where the two of you do those things together. “Hey kid, let’s spend 20 minutes looking at social media to see the new London Marathon PR, then let’s go shoot hoops.” Participate so they see that you follow the rules too. Any rule you set, you must follow, or they will resent you. Do not take your child’s Nintendo Switch and then make them watch you play Clash Royale on your phone.

The friends question is the same question. When your kid hits the age where they leave your grasp, they’re sentient enough to have a real conversation with. They are smart, remember that. Your child will go over to little Johnny’s, and little Johnny will have the new GTA, and your kid will be exposed to the coolest thing he’s ever seen. He’ll come home begging for the PlayStation. Same will be true for cell phones, computers, TVs.

Don’t be a helicopter. The human brain wants most what it can’t have. Don’t light that fire. Get them the phone, or the Xbox, or the Switch, but show them it’s not the only hobby. Explain the downsides. Let them learn and make decisions for themselves. They want to be treated like adults at a certain point. They’re going to live in this world whether you like it or not. Better they learn the roads with you in the car than discover them on their own.

On comms

How will I communicate with my kid? A good question. How do you reach your kid when they leave the nest if they don’t have a phone?

Buy a smart watch. Kids can use an Apple Watch to call and text and the functionality is limited by design. They can communicate but they can’t doomscroll or accidentally buy $600 of Clash of Clans gems on your credit card. You could also get a dumb phone, or use something like Brick to restrict what a normal phone can do. Keep the phone what it’s supposed to be. A tool.

Another alternative is to have them send physical letters in the mail.

Your child will probably try to find loopholes. Good. Let their little brains problem solve. It’s probably good for them.

Lean in

What if your kid is the next Mr. Beast or Tom Holland and you never let them touch a screen? What if they love watching movies and want to be an actor and have a natural talent for it? What if instead of watching Fortnite chug jug videos they like watching people play piano on YouTube and they’re the next Beethoven? How would you ever know.

Screens are part of life. Here to stay. And if we cannot escape, the next best alternative, I think, is to lean in. What’s most important, aside from leading by example, is that we as parents enable our kids to use technology to do cool things. Not just to consume but to create. If they love Roblox or Pokemon, help them learn how to make videos or write something. If they love gaming, get them to stream. If they love performing, help them make videos. Show them there’s an outlet. Show them these screens aren’t bad, they can be used to build a fulfilling life around something you actually care about.

This is something I wish I’d realized earlier. As a parent, I want to do what I can not to pull my kids away from their interests, screen related or not, but to push them toward those things.

I want my kids to optimize for happiness and nothing else.

Screens are only really bad when used purely to distract the brain, suffocate the thoughts, or be a permanent escape. When they become a hobby, a passion, and potentially a line of work, which I think they can be for anyone now, they’re not so bad after all. You are the one who needs to enable that mindset in them.

Good luck

I don’t have kids, but it’s all I’ve ever known I’ve wanted. I’ll face these same challenges one day, and this is what I’m going to try to remember when I do: I don’t need to be perfect, and I shouldn’t be, but I can’t give in, and I need to try my best. And I think you should too. For the future our children deserve.

Thanks for reading. Rooting for you (and your kids).

— Dante

We live in a world where the SAT is optional, GPAs don’t go on resumes, and AI can make you look like you went to Harvard.

On paper, everyone is exceptional.

Everyone played sports, everyone led a club, and everyone has the same three bullet points dressed up in Instrument Serif.

You are not unique.

Sorry buster, the resume space race is over, AI won, and it took your “extracurriculars” with it. LinkedIn profiles, fancy websites, and optimized applications getting cannonballed out into the void, never to be seen again.

You hope and pray it lands you an interview, but deep down you know it never had a shot from the time it left the ground.

Whether you like it or not, firing off 30 LinkedIn applications isn’t a job search. It’s a feeling. It feels like effort. It feels slightly more productive than doing nothing.

Movement instead of progress.

It’s easy. Easy to have AI bundle up your little profile and spam 20 jobs in two seconds. You’re doing it! You’re finally going to make a change! You’re finally going to escape! But deep down, you know you don’t stand a chance. Not this way. Something about it just feels too… too good to be true, right? Wonder why.

Like most things that are worth doing, this too won’t come easy. The only way out is through. It’s not quick. It takes time and effort and consistency. It takes putting yourself out there, being a pest, getting embarrassed, and dropping your ego long enough to figure a few things out.

Today, everyone looks good on paper. Everyone is obsessed with the shell of the turtle. But no one is paying attention to the turtle. In this superficial world, the inside is the last place anyone thinks to look. That’s exactly why it’s the only place left to win.

Hard, Not Complicated

Getting a new job is hard, but it’s not complicated. The hard part is actually getting in the room. Being in a position where you have the opportunity to show off your stuff. The interview. I’m sure many of you are amazing people with incredible talent, but none of that matters if you can’t show it off.

This is why the resume feels pretty much useless. It really says nothing about who you are, what kind of work you’ll do, what kind of colleague you’ll be, or whether you’ll be fun in the lunchroom or awkward with clients. You need to be seen, more than ever, especially given how normal you’ve become on paper.

You need to be different, sometimes just for the sake of it. Most people struggle to land a job because they’re the exact opposite of that — they’re doing what everyone else is doing. So in order to get the interview, you almost by default need to be doing what everyone else isn’t. What’s everyone doing? Saucing their resume in the soup. So maybe you shouldn’t even be in the kitchen.

Become Someone Worth Hiring

I’ve been fortunate in my young career to work with people who (from a corporate ladder perspective) are pretty high up there. Really really intelligent people with aspirational titles and long “successful” careers. Naturally, you pick up on things.

Over and over, I keep hearing the same shit: “I got brought on to do this.” “XYZ gave me a call and told me there was this opportunity.” “The role presented itself to me.”

None of them had applied for the job they were in.

In fact, I find it kind of annoying how many times I’ve heard the words “I’ve never applied for a job in my life.” Their prior work and character opened the door. They are the resume.

And yes, I understand that if you’re reading this you’re probably not the CFO of a large financial institution, but the point still remains. The best aren’t scrolling Glassdoor looking at salaries. They’re working, and their work is working for them. Who they are is doing the heavy lifting.

Let’s play with this idea for half a second.

I’m a hiring manager looking for employees, teammates, whatever. How would I do it? How would I fill seats today knowing literally nothing? Probably one of two ways.

1. I’d turn to the best people I know. Friends, family, old coworkers, etc. The ones I trust to put the effort in. The ones with the drive. The ceiling. The chemical makeup to be successful. They’ll learn the job, the technical bit. And I trust them to do so. So they get the call.

The flip side of this is kind of funny. I have plenty of friends I absolutely love, but they’re fucking idiots. I’d never hire them. Because I know them. I know they sit around jerking off playing WoW on the clock.

The point is, you need to be the kind of person worth hiring. What gets you in the room is being high character, positive, enjoyable, and if possible, hardworking and good at what you do. Which brings us to number 2.

2. I’d go find the best people that exist for the role. They probably wouldn’t be hard to find.

If you’re really really good at the job, they almost have no choice but to hire you. Every organization is looking for people they’re confident will boost their “KPIs”. If you can guarantee that, they’ll find you. Word travels fast. I promise.

In our world, it’s simply easier to polish a resume than it is to focus on yourself. Which is why no one does it.

You need to be the kind of human worth bringing on board. It’s very very simple. Ask yourself these questions: Would I hire myself? Am I the kind of person worth hiring for this role?

If not, then get there. Thats it. Recruiters, your friends, your coworkers can see it too.

You need to be someone others would stake their reputation on. Flat out.

How to Get in the Room

Step one: know what you want.

You can’t network towards nothing. You need a target. There are too many jobs out there and things are too competitive. You’re far better off setting your sights on one target and taking all your shots there than firing 100 shots a day at six different industries, 12 different companies, and five different recruiters. Sure, cast a few lines and see where you get nibbles, but you need to know what you want. You’re far more likely to catch the fish you want if you know what bait to use.

Once you know what you want, you know how to frame yourself. How to tailor conversations, outreach, preparation, emails. Use Claude or ChatGPT to help you narrow the search. Tell it your experience, what you’re good at, your current role. Ask what you’re suited for. Ask it to ask you questions to help you find a good pivot. If you know the end goal but can’t see the road, ask it to map one for you and follow it.

Step two: networking.

Yeah, I hate the word too. What does it even mean? I don’t really know. Make friends and shit. Anyway, unfortunately, this is really how you’re going to get a job. This is the best approach by far.

Honestly, given the nature of our world, I think it’s the only way to get a job you actually want. It’s also exactly why being worth hiring matters so much.

When you call your uncle’s uncle, he needs to not only be okay with making the introduction — he needs to think it’s a good idea. (It’s like trying to set people up for a date. Nobody wants to introduce their ugly, out of shape, broke friend who still lives with their parents at age 45, no offense.)

And for the record, I understand this is uncomfortable, and you don’t want to have to lean on people, and you want to do it yourself tough guy, and you don’t want to be a nepo baby, and so on and so forth. Nobody cares.

Drop the fucking ego. Get over yourself. It’s not lame, it’s reality. Take what you want from this life or be used by it. Plain and simple.

So what do you do? Make friends!

Most adults on this earth have a job. That means everyone is a prospect. Think about that.

Start with your immediate circle and branch out. Brothers, sisters, parents. Then uncles, cousins, aunts. Then friends. Then friends of friends. Then parents’ friends. Then the random you meet at the coffee shop. Identify who has the job you want, and hone in. Then reach out. Ask someone to reach out for you. Don’t be shy. This is the hard part. This is the embarrassing part. It’s ego. It’s not only hard for you, it’s hard for the person making the connection. (Again why you need to be a high value person).

When nothing happens, follow up. Don’t be annoying, but be persistent. Most people will tell you they’ll help, and it will fizzle. Follow up anyway. Be selfish in this game. It’s literally your only option. Or back to LinkedIn. (Don’t.)

If they said they’d reach out to their recruiter or their boss and you hear nothing, you have every right to follow up. Only stop when they tell you directly that there are no openings. Most of the time what happens is you get handed off. Then handed off again. Then again. You just keep going. Don’t take silence as an answer.

Most people don’t do this. I know because I am most people. You send one or two emails, don’t get a reply, chalk it up to “didn’t hear back,” then go back to ripping Indeed applications.

Do not do this.

Keep shooting. It will take many tries. Lots of rejection. Many phone calls. Many, many. It will seem like nothing is happening, but with each go you’re really getting closer and closer. The odds aren’t in your favor, but eventually, someone’s gotta reply, right?

In college, I witnessed this firsthand. My little brother. Fucker.

He works in Sales and Trading in New York at one of the biggest banks in the world. In college, while I was playing League of Legends, he was sending hundreds of emails to alumni of our school who had landed jobs on The Street. Hundreds. Hours and hours. Weeks on end. He shared his work, his knowledge, who he was, his interests, what he wanted. In time, he got in touch with the right people. Internship, then full time hire.

The smallest connection makes a difference. It instantly warms the two of you up. Don’t only consider direct relationships. In that story, my brother used our school as the bridge. Anything helps.

But he also knew what he wanted. He wasn’t sending hundreds of emails in a million directions — he was tossing lines in a pond, not the ocean. He was tasty bait and people saw that. Then he nailed the interviews.

Keep following up. Keep sending emails. Be persistent. Because when you finally get in the room, you need to be ready.

How to Interview

“Want it, don’t need it.” - Matthew McConaughey

Remember, you already have a job. You have infinite respawns. Use the job you hate as a tactical insertion to respawn after rejection. Rip call after call, email after email, fearlessly. There is no defeat when you’re already being paid. Everyone else is acting like it’s Search and Destroy. It’s not. Paychecks will keep coming.

And if you don’t have a job at all — enjoy it. Work sucks. What are you rushing into something stressful for? My favorite job to this day was caddying at a golf pro shop. Go try that. Find a minimum wage job you enjoy.

Regardless, the mindset should be the same — want it, don’t need it. (Applies to networking as well.) Desperation is so stinky. It’s not an escape or your golden ticket. It’s just a new opportunity. Remain calm, be yourself, prepare, execute.

I digress. Let’s talk interviewing.

I had one recently. Whether I did a good or bad job is still up for debate, but I got the role — which is of course all that matters. In this game, your score doesn’t matter. A+ is the same as C-. It’s pass or fail.

But you need to prepare like you need a 100%.

It’s incredibly easy for an interviewer to tell if you want it. The people who want it have done the work up front. They’re intense. They’re confident. They’re on a mission.

Every job I’ve ever really wanted, I’ve gotten. Every job I didn’t really care about, I didn’t get. That comes out in the interview, whether I’m aware of it in the moment or not.

If you really want it, the preparation will take care of itself. Which brings me to my next point, how to prepare.

AI, obviously.

AI makes it stupid easy. Not just from an information standpoint, but from a rep perspective. You can get so many optimized at bats. It’s incredible at generating interview style questions. It can store your answers. You can feed it documentation, job descriptions, anything that resonates. You can tell it your current role, the role you’re going for.

AI would pass your interview in a heartbeat. You just need to prompt it right to get the information into your head.

Here’s exactly what I did:

I compiled a list of interview questions in an Apple Note. I practiced my answers over and over and had AI ask me those questions in random order. The list grew naturally. I had it generate new questions it thought would be important for the role, and I added those too.

Once the list was big, too big, I had it reference it to run full mock interviews.

Then I created a rating system. After each question, I would rate the difficulty somewhere between 1 and 3.

A 1 meant I nailed it and didn’t need to see it again that round. A 2 meant I did okay but wanted another pass. A 3 meant I bombed it and needed to see it frequently.

I had it show me 3s most often, 2s sometimes, and 1s rarely. This helped me get comfortable with the questions that I found most difficult.

Most importantly perhaps, in this process I had it throw in curveball questions — ones I’d never seen to help me practice thinking on my feet (this too is a skill).

Then I spammed this interview mini game I had created. I spent hours. And hours. And hours. I got good at winging answers in a way that sounded good. I learned the material. I asked questions about things I didn’t understand. I used voice mode to have it ask me questions while I would go on walks and while I was commuting to my then current job.

It was so easy because just like an interview each question was served up one at a time in a random order.

In the end, I was wildly, confidently prepared.

I also opened Microsoft Teams and started a meeting with myself to simulate being on camera.

I had my dad hop on a Teams call and grill me from my question bank. It helped me get used to that feeling.

When I finally walked into the real thing (for a job I actually wanted), it felt like I was a college kid playing kickball with elementary schoolers.

On the morning of the interview, I skipped coffee to avoid the jitters and went for a walk beforehand to clear my head. I listened to AC/DC’s “Hells Bells,” same as I did before games as a kid. That’s what game day looks like now.

It’s all about being prepared. I’m sure there are better ways than how I did it, but it worked for me. Maybe it will work for you too!

Go

Getting a new job is daunting and challenging. But when you take a step back, it’s really not that complicated. The problem is that most people are trying to 360 no scope a job off of Indeed. Which is pure laziness. Kind of like dating apps (Kidding).

Not because it can’t work — but because it has no intentionality to it. It’s a desperate plea. Which is why, for so many people, the grass isn’t always greener. They didn’t give their next step any thought.

And when it does work, it’s almost always obvious why they end up miserable again. They took the job the world served up to them instead of going out and getting the job they wanted. A bandaid on a bullet hole to their “fulfilling career” problem.

If there’s a job you want, it’s now your job — pun intended — to go out and get it. It will be hard. It will be challenging. But you need to go directly to the source. Use LinkedIn to do exactly that. Link with people. Make connections. Have conversations. People like feeling important — make them feel important, and they’ll probably talk to you.

The key isn’t just to get a job. It’s to get a job you actually want. Which, naturally, is going to be way, way harder.

Just keep going. Don’t give up. Be persistent. Silence is not an answer. Want it, don’t need it. Use AI.

Go. Go. Go. No one is coming to save you. Remember that.

Thanks for reading, and godspeed.

— Dante

Most weight management strategies suck because they aren’t built for you.

You are a unique, 1 of 1 specimen with your own biology, schedule, circumstances, and history. You have your own pitfalls, strengths, preferences, and levels of activity.

You are trying to force a hotdog into an auxiliary jack, which is surprisingly useless.

As you go down the self-improvement rabbit hole, you’ll hear the same thing over and over. “You need to find what works for you.” Which is true (although not particularly helpful).

Think about it like this. Yes, you need to build your own plan, do your own research, and find something you can personally sustain. But I’d almost guarantee that this roadmap won’t come from one single source, which is exactly what everyone wants. Unfortunately, one person’s (complete) playbook cannot be another’s.

But that doesn’t mean pieces of their plan won’t work for you, which is exactly why I’m writing this.

Fear not, all of these little things you’re doing to learn and educate yourself are not useless. You simply need to stop treating the podcast, the YouTube video, the book, the article, as scripture. It won’t be. Individually, in the short term, each of these does nothing.

But over time, something interesting happens. These little nuggets of information compound. They combine to form something meaningful. A piece here, a piece there. Get rid of this, add that. Over and over and over, like a little thief.

You try a weight loss strategy, it doesn’t quite work, but you keep one thing you liked. You try something new, it fails, but again, you keep a piece. You keep pulling rubber bands from the metaphorical self-help bag and adding them to your personalized rubber band ball.

And eventually, all those little nuggets form a beautiful amalgamation that’s yours. Your system. Your protocol. Your “what works for you.”

This essay is my rubber band ball. Simply what works for me. My hope is that somewhere in here is a rubber band that belongs in yours.

This is how I manage my weight. How I gain weight (muscle), maintain it, and lose it.

Shall we, lads?

Maintaining Weight

Please don’t skip this section because you want to lose weight. This is the foundation of my process, and without it the other techniques aren’t possible.

Maintenance should probably be our default state as humans, hence the name.

This is how I do it.

The core of my process is the dreaded body weight scale. Not a little food scale. A big scale, one for my weight. This is the puppet master. It manages everything. How I track my progress, how I keep myself in check, how I make adjustments.

Every single morning, first thing, ass naked, I get on the scale.

I write it down in my journal. 2/3/2026, 145.4 pounds. And the next day I do the same thing. And the next. And the next. Every single day, real-time feedback on how I am progressing.

With maintenance, my goal is for that weight to stay as close to my target as possible. For me, 145 lbs. If the scale looks like this across a week: 145, 145.3, 145.5, 145.8, 146, 146.2, 146.2, it’s very clear what’s happening. I’m gaining weight, and vice versa.

By tracking daily, I’m not figuring this out at my annual physical when I’m already 15 pounds up with 3 months of work ahead of me. Much easier to correct day to day.

How I manage this is primarily through diet. The body weight scale is coupled with intuitive/structured eating.

I absolutely hate weighing my food. I think it sucks. I’ve tried it and it was certainly effective, but for me, not sustainable. Not something I could do forever. Needed a new plan.

I realized that if I just eat roughly the same thing every day, I can get a good idea of my baseline. My maintenance.

So, I eat the foods I love, in roughly the same quantities, every day. Half a pound of some meat. A quarter cup of rice or sweet potato. The same bowl of vegetables. The same number of eggs. The same number of meals, at the same time. The same number of chips. The same number of pieces of fruit.

Not perfect, but all roughly the same. I rotate what I eat but keep roughly the same macros and breakdown. Can’t mess up too bad when I train the same way and eat the same things. Three eggs and an apple every morning is hard to mess up from a quantity perspective.

And to be clear, this is not perfect. I don’t expect my weight to be 145.0, 145.0, 145.0 day after day. It moves, and that’s okay. I make micro adjustments that keep me close to 145.

Maybe I switch to hard boiled eggs instead of eggs cooked in coconut oil, or cut the apple in half. That’s it.

If I eat the same thing every day and the scale isn’t moving, I know I’m eating the right amount.

This is very, very important for the gaining and losing weight sections to come. This level of consistency is the entire foundation.

I find that psychologically, just seeing the number on the scale every day is enough of a guiding light. Moving up or moving down?

And if you think this is restrictive, it is. The problem is that in our modern world, you simply cannot do nothing. You must do something. We live in a world of abundance and overeating is easy. You still need some need guardrails.

To maintain my weight, I weigh myself daily, couple it with a consistent diet, and voila, locked at my goal weight. The processes for losing and gaining weight that follow are simply this same approach, accentuated.

Losing Weight

Like I said, I eat basically the same thing every day. When it’s time to lose weight the strategy is very, very simple. I remove things I usually eat.

For example, I eat a banana and a date every day before I work out. When cutting, I might remove the date and eat half the banana. I usually put olive oil on my eggs, well, not anymore. Instead of a cup of rice at dinner, I might cut that in half. That’s it. Boom, I’m cutting weight.

Almost effortlessly, I’ve removed 300-400 calories without needing to weigh a single thing or do anything weird.

Of course, I continue weighing myself daily to track that the scale is going down. And critically, nothing else changes.

Same training, same foods, just less of them. If I want progress to go faster, I skip the square of chocolate after dinner, have less fruit at breakfast, or steam my vegetables instead of cooking them in coconut oil. The diet never changes. The only question is how much of what I usually eat do I remove.

That’s all there is to it.

Sometimes I don’t want to remove food at all, so I increase my activity instead. An extra walk or two. A mile or two added to my runs.

That’s it. All intuitive.

Gaining Weight

Inverse of the above, basically. I grew up a scrawny little rodent of a child. Could never gain weight, never went to the gym either. I ate mountains of pasta and lasagna to compensate for how much I was moving. Lacrosse, soccer, football, hockey, basketball, baseball, wrestling, tennis, golf, I did it all and I loved it.

Still a little dweeb.

As I aged I started to yap about how I couldn’t put on any weight. True, but I wasn’t even trying. By default I had a ravenous appetite and a ripping metabolism. That was high school. Now at 26, I’ve simply realized I was just being lazy. Gaining weight is obnoxiously easy if that’s actually what you want.

For most of us, “gaining weight” actually means putting on muscle. If you’re chalking your inability to get stronger up to genetics, you’re just lying to yourself.

Your course of action is simple. Lift more weight. More volume. More sets. More reps. Do more. That’s it. Then feed those muscles. More food. More! More than you want.

If you still find yourself stuck, here’s my simple trick. Eat ice cream.

Eat your normal day of food, and then eat ice cream.

I really like “Ice Cream for Bears,” a healthy, delicious alternative to the iconic Benny and J’s. You won’t be able to put it down.

Slam ice cream, lift weights, get your protein in. The caloric surplus is really quite simple. Scale goes up, good. Scale goes down, no good.

What I Eat

When I started my health journey it was all about calories. I restricted like a madman. I tried every trendy diet. Animal based, low carb, high carb, fruit till noon.

I did intermittent fasting of all kinds. One meal a day, 16:8, 18:6. I cut foods out, added them back in, had cheat days. Imploded on weekends because I was so strict during the week. Destroyed my gut getting rid of fiber. Built it back up. Learned what I liked, what I didn’t, what made me feel good, what made my training better. It was a long journey.

And now, I don’t follow any of them lol.

How I eat is just how I live. I don’t have to think too hard anymore. It’s effortless. This is the ultimate goal, and it’s what you should aim for. I’ve reached the point where I don’t eat well to look good. I eat well because it makes me feel good, and as a result, I look good.

Mostly whole foods, with a focus on animal products.

I aim for roughly my body weight in grams of protein but don’t care that much about it. Lots of carbs because I train a lot and they make my training better. I enjoy unhealthy food from time to time knowing it will make me feel like garbage, but that’s okay, good for the soul.

When I fall off the wagon, I get back on immediately, no guilt, because one bad day or one bad week means nothing in the grand scheme of things. I don’t really drink alcohol. I limit empty liquid calories like coffee creamer and soda. I rarely snack. I use caffeine to manage appetite.

For fun, because I know you’re interested, here’s a long boring list of what I eat most days:

• Meat/game

• Fish/sea creatures

• Poultry, eggs

• Greek yogurt

• Fruits

• Vegetables

• Honey, bee pollen

• White rice

• Potatoes

• Cheese (Parmesan, raw cheddar, etc.)

• Fermented foods (sauerkraut, pickles, etc.)

• Sourdough

• Extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil

• Salt/pepper/herbs

• Dark chocolate

• Healthy ice cream (Ice Cream for Bears)

• Healthy snacks (Popcorn, Healthy chips - MASA, Vandy)

• Protein Supplements (Equip, Jacob, Promix)

GG’s.

How I Train

I do everything. I like doing everything. Endurance activities, sprints, sports. I lift, I do calisthenics. I stretch, I walk. I move, every day, always something. I believe there is always something I can be doing. I have specific goals of course, right now I am trying to run a sub-3-hour marathon, so I’m running a lot. I like biking. Rock climbing. I golf, play tennis, pickleball. I have my routine, my regiment, but I train to be athletic. I want to be well-rounded like Mario. Strong, fast, fit. The goal is holistic health. I want it all. I am great at nothing, but I am good at everything.

Being a free soul has its pros. Training is never stale, always fun. I do what I want, what I feel I can handle, what I need. Sometimes I’m deep in the weeds tracking heart rate, weight progression, split times, but the bottom line is I’m always moving. I make movement fun, always, so it’s easy to stay consistent because it never feels like a compromise. I think as humans we are meant to move. It’s less about what we do and more about that we do it at all. I am unbelievably consistent, and in my opinion, that is everything.

The Final Ingredient

This process is as close as I’ve gotten to doing things 100% intuitively. If you can’t see yourself doing what you’re doing forever, it’s not the right strategy.

I enjoy every single day. I don’t feel restricted. I don’t feel overstrained. This is just how I’ve learned to live, and I love it. It’s not about some fad diet or a new promising exercise modality. It’s really about finding what you love and combining it with what works for you. That’s all that really matters.

And one other thing…

When I was younger I told myself I would get into good shape one day. I was not the biggest, strongest, or fastest, and I didn’t know much.

But I told myself I would be more consistent than the people I admired. I signed a contract with myself to start and never stop. That was all I could control. I was okay if the results never came, if I never caught up, but I was going to try. So that’s what I did. That’s all I did. And guess what? Of course the results came.

I outran all my peers and I think I continue to do so. The point isn’t to gloat, just to remind you that it’s not about where you are, but where you’re going. Trajectory is significantly more important than current position. Start and never stop.

Just keep pushing forward. Keep showing up. Find a way to be consistent, and no matter what, I’m confident that for you, just like me, the results will come.

Thanks for reading,

Dante

The porcelain throne may as well be the 8th wonder of the world. One of very few sacred places remaining on earth. Going to the bathroom is something you do alone for the duration of your life. A socially acceptable reason to be absent. A vacation in the middle of the workday. A take 5 to rip a few text messages and inhale a YouTube video. No one can argue with it. No one can stop it. A few glorious minutes that are completely yours. Most of the time, the bathroom break is a magnificently intimate experience. Of course, sometimes it feels like you’re opening a portal to the underworld in there (see the speed run or the battle after a night out), but on average I think it’s typically an enjoyable experience, particularly if you’re regular.

Hopefully, (more on this later) you’re going to the bathroom consistently. A daily ritual that’s already scheduled into your day. 20 minutes where you get a little time to reset, check your phone, and do your business. Honestly, I’d argue the bathroom break has become more of an entertainment break than a time to go to the bathroom. I can speak from personal experience when I say the actual bathroom part takes 2-3 minutes, followed by 15 minutes of droiding around on my little super computer. Enjoyable? Absolutely. Useless? Pretty much. Now imagine this, you take your little “requirement” and use it to your advantage. You use those 20 minutes to build a new habit. Something meaningful. I mean, it’s not like it’s that hard, you’re already in there anyway.

On average, I’d imagine (or hope) that most people are going to the bathroom at least once per day. Myself, sometimes twice, but always about an hour after I have my morning coffee and banana (pre run fuel). Let’s pretend the bathroom break takes 15 minutes. For me, it’s probably closer to 20, but let’s call it 15—for science.

So if you spend 15 minutes per day on the toilet, you’re spending 90 hours per year doing your business. 90 hours! Many estimates say that in order to become above average at anything, it takes roughly 100 hours. Not far off. Now imagine if you spent your 15 minutes on the toilet doing something constructive. Something to work towards a goal. Language learning, writing, building a reading habit, journaling, whatever. What if you spent your break studying the stock market, or reading economics, calling family, or playing with AI? In one year’s time you’d be above average at that thing.

Why it Works

It’s not just the time that makes the toilet a great spot to build habits, it’s the process itself. The bathroom is an S-tier POI for habit formation. If you haven’t read James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, it’s one of those trademark self help books on how to get things done. Spoiler alert, it’s all about habit formation. How to build habits. In his book, he talks through a few different strategies you can deploy to get better at exactly that. Since his ideas have all but been ingrained into the self improvement hive mind, I won’t pretend these are ideas are mine. However, I want to talk through why taking a shit is an incredible time and place to build a new habit, using the tools that he discusses. Let’s pretend that you wanted to build a reading habit.

1. Habit stacking - Adding a habit to an already existing habit. (This is why the morning routine works). When you sit on the toilet, you will read 5 pages. Pavlov’s dogged instantly. You have to go to the bathroom daily so it’s a perfect choice.

2. Habit cue - A signal that means it’s time to do the thing. You have the urge to go to the bathroom, and your body knows it’s time to read. Cheeks hit the porcelain and it’s game on. Plus you can leave a book in the bathroom to help.

3. Make it attractive - Straightforward. Going to the bathroom is usually enjoyable. Won’t dread sitting down most of the time.

4. Make it easy - This is the bread and butter of the toilet habit strat. You’re already going anyway. No friction.

5. Frequency - Skills are acquired through reps. You get the reps for free.

6. Environment - No TV in there. No computer. Can choose to leave your phone behind and take a book instead. Completely alone too. No distractions.

7. Goldilocks rule - You don’t want the habit to be too hard or too easy. 1 minute not enough. 30 minutes too long. 10 minutes of reading is just enough time to build, and not so overwhelming that you burn out. A manageable chunk.

It’s literally perfect. Going to the bathroom is already carved into your day. It’s usually fun, so you won’t dread it. It’s frequent and of a comfortable duration—not too long, not too short, just the right temperature. All you have to do is choose to do something constructive.

Tips for Consistency in the Bathroom

This trick will only work if you’re going to the bathroom regularly, so we need to talk about that. A healthy gut is a healthy body. Sidebar: weirdly, when I think back to high school, all my friends who were the gassiest were the ones with the best skin. Active bowels. Healthy guts. I’ve personally noticed significantly better skin health since I started prioritizing gut health and “movement”—the more regular I am in the bathroom, the better my skin, and the more energy I have. If you aren’t going to the bathroom regularly, consistently, toxins are being reabsorbed into the bloodstream due to impaired excretion through the bowels. It is called waste for a reason. Simply put, going to the bathroom is so important for your overall health and wellbeing. Here are my blanket recommendations on how to fix your sluggish bowels (I’ll dive deeper into this topic in a future newsletter because it’s that important):

1. Consistency - We are aiming for consistency, are we not? Therefore what do you think we need to be? Consistent, yes yes. Our internal “body clocks” are remarkably powerful. Timing is everything. Timing with when we eat. Timing with when we sleep and wake. Certain cues that trigger movement. Eat at the same time every day without fail. You need to give your body time to understand your system.

2. Fiber - Apparently, our ancestors ate close to 100 grams of fiber from a variety of different sources daily. Compare this to modernity at roughly 15 grams per day. Not enough. Up your fiber intake, preferably from various plant sources. I like to focus on berries and cruciferous vegetables. Aim for 30 grams per day—build up as you tolerate.

3. Drink lots of water - Aim for half your body weight in ounces. Need to get some H2O into that stool. Lubricate the pipes. Add more water with extra activity. Good hydration is important anyway.

4. Supplementation - Fiber supplements such as psyllium husk and inulin work well. Do not rely on these, try to get fiber from food, but they’re a nice kickstarter. Magnesium is a wonderful supplement. You should probably be taking it as is. But it also helps with going numero dos. Magnesium citrate is the best for this, but I like magnesium glycinate. The taurate and threonate varieties are nice as well. Creatine is another supplement that accidentally helps and has nice benefits on the side. Lastly, taurine seems to help with detox and bowel movement. I like it. Works well for my friends that I’ve recommended it to.

5. Exercise - Straightforward. Helps kickstart digestion. Gets things loose. Stool gets moving and grooving.

6. Eat - This might seem counterintuitive, but I notice my digestion doesn’t really “turn on” until I’ve had something to eat. I’ve tried all kinds of intermittent fasting—all of which seems to slow my bowels. A good practice for certain reasons, but doesn’t seem to help me with going potty. Be mindful of this.

7. Coffee - Lots and lots of coffee. Chug jugs worth.

Gotta be going to the bathroom consistently. If not to build habits, than for robust health, energy, and mood.

The World’s Cockpit

The toilet is a beautiful little sanctuary. A place we do our business. Unequivocally important for our health. And an incredible place to build and sustain habits. If you wish to start something new, try giving it a stab while you’re going to the bathroom. It truly is such an easy way to be consistent, if you are consistent. All it takes is the tiniest shred of willpower to not go on Instagram for 10 minutes. You have all day to do that, just like usual.

My hope is that I can one day write a newsletter on how I learned Japanese entirely while going to the bathroom. Also, for those times where I go more than once, I find that I do some of my best writing while taking a deuce. Something about that beautiful little porcelain throne that induces a robust flow state. Hopefully, this gives you some ideas. Stay safe out there, and best of luck conquering the universe from the world’s cockpit.

Thanks for reading,

Dante

Selfishly, I’m frustrated with what our overly connected, overly stimulated world is taking from me. I’ve worked hard in my early twenties to adopt habits that I think might be useful as I grow. The hardest of which, and still a work in progress, is the idea of disconnecting. Going analog. More deeply integrating myself in the world and the experiences in front of me. I’ve worked hard to not be chronically online and to enjoy the slow moments. The coffee, the book, the dinner, the car ride, whatever. This, at least from an individual perspective, has been one of the best things I’ve ever done. I’ve become significantly better at enjoying almost everything. Yes, I mean what I’m saying, I enjoy everything more. Fewer peaks and troughs. I find myself less frequently longing for the next thing. I have no desire to fill the space between with meaningless swiping and online shopping. This past year, 2025, was a year where I really felt like I started to break through. It went from something I was trying to do, to being a part of my life. I am no longer trying to be less online, I am less online. I make more time for the people in my life. I enjoy the slow moments. I’m comfortable in my own mind. I can sink into books without getting distracted. I can watch movies without going on my phone. It has been incredibly challenging, and simultaneously, incredibly rewarding.

This holiday season was the first long break I’ve had in my short career, which of course was exciting. I knew it would be a perfect time to view everything with my new set of eyes. I was looking forward to enjoying some much needed family time, away from the onslaught of rogue teams messages and undesired responsibilities. On Christmas morning, as my family sat around our beautiful living room, Frank Sinatra J-I-N-G-L-E belling, wrapping paper being shredded and coffee being sipped, I couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. As I sat on the mantle of our fireplace, watching my lovely family partake in our usual Christmas traditions, I found myself longing for something more. It wasn’t more gifts, or more coffee, or our usual fantastic breakfast, but something much, much deeper. I was longing for my family’s attention, something that was so clearly stolen by our devices. This pattern would repeat itself. Not days later, my family and I were at a beach concert. The weather was perfect—a cool breeze, clear skies, and Chris Stapleton making my eardrums dance. I was completely and utterly immersed in the experience. I noticed seagulls screeching, families laughing, feet tapping. The sun was charring my effervescent, vampiric skin, and life was good. A year ago I would’ve never been able to sink into this magical experience. I would’ve never taken notice of these things. I didn’t need to fill the space. I wasn’t longing for more. I wasn’t bored or thinking about dinner. I was present and I was happy, but only for a time, because just like Christmas morning, I felt almost completely alone.

For a long time, I felt like I was one of those people who could go at it by myself. Chuck Norris style. A lone wolf questing to become a modern day DaVinci. I was comfortable in my own head, in my own space. I enjoyed alone time and my hobbies were enough to keep me happy. I felt like I would be okay no matter where I ended up or what I did. I was selfish, but then again, maybe that’s just youth. As my prefrontal cortex finally started to boot up, it became abundantly clear that I would eat shit on that one. I needed—I need people. For me, experiencing life with someone else, with others—my family and close friends is what makes this wild human experience worth it. It became the driving force behind all of my actions and decision making. What’s the point in having a great job and lots of money if I didn’t have anyone to spend it on? Why would I travel if I didn’t have anyone to share the memory with? If I didn’t care about the people in my life, and the experiences I want to give them, I’d be backpacking in Peru, writing articles and running marathons. I don’t think I’m alone either. Life is significantly more enjoyable in the company of others. It’s never the personal accomplishments I remember, it’s the smile that I put on other people’s faces. It’s the gifts I buy for others. It’s the moments where the people I love make me laugh. I never realized how much I needed, longed for, human interaction. How much the people in my life made a difference. I was certainly happy in myself, but knew there was more to the story. I needed to be the best version of myself, not just for myself, but for everyone else. It was about how I wanted other people to feel when they were around me. Controlling my attention, and being more present, became something I felt like I needed to do for everyone else. I wanted to give them all of me when I could. The time I had to spend with those people was diminishing, and probably will only continue to do so as adult life takes over. I wanted to make sure that when I was in those moments, I wasn’t wasting them, and not just for me, but for them.

So I put in the work. I stopped using all my free time to play Valorant. Anime time was limited. I deleted social media from my phone. I started meditating and rediscovered my love for reading. I spent so much time doing things without technology. Running in silence, walking with just my thoughts, journaling with pen and paper. I raw dogged flights, sold my iPad, and cancelled subscriptions. I stopped using 3 monitors and most importantly, I started writing. It sucked, just like quitting any addiction, but being off the apps is an incredible feeling. No urge to reach into my pocket for no reason—the magnetic aura that my devices once carried no longer exists, and it’s completely and utterly freeing. It feels like there’s so much more time in the day. It has been glorious and I would do it all over again if I had the choice. I’m able to focus at work, in conversation, and on things that matter, which is invaluable. However, I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and rainbows.

Contrary to most of the self improvement investments I’ve made, I haven’t necessarily found what I expected to on the other side. Not because a restored attention span isn’t what I wanted, but because I miscalculated something very, very important. I thought that being present would unlock deeper connections, richer experiences and more meaningful moments with the people I love, and it has, but not in the way I’d expected it. I can sink into the experience now, but I’m sinking alone. I’m staring at my friends playing games in Discord. I watch my family pull out their phones at dinner. I don’t necessarily feel closer to the people I love, but possibly even less so. I’ve spent years trying to be more present and in a way, all it’s highlighted is just how absent everyone else is. It’s hilarious to see so many people’s eyes glaze over and minds shift away from the task at hand. I notice how many phones come out and how distracted people are in meetings and in elevators. I’m not experiencing more with my loved ones, I’m experiencing their distraction. Sure, I reach for my phone less, but all that’s shown me is how often people reach for theirs. The skillset I wanted so badly feels almost useless when I’m the only one using it. Why would I care to be more present when all it yields is a more acute sense of other people’s social media addictions. I hear TikToks from phones I’m not using in my sleep. Chronic onlineness is so breathtakingly obvious. I am not some messiah, and I do succumb to the phone grab from time to time, but in a weird way, my effort almost feels meaningless (It hasn’t been!). I am more present, but I am significantly more alone. I’m more present at Christmas, and on the beach, but if everyone else is lost in the land of mind lulling short form, then what’s the point? I’m not getting the high quality time I’ve envisioned, I’m getting a front row seat to the struggle that we’re all going through. This, is the crux of this essay. I am mad at what the overstimulated world is taking from me, and you should be too.

We can all feel the urge. The temptation to disconnect and go back to our roots. A desire to use notebooks and pens. To read physical books and go out with friends. To play board games and sunbathe. We want it. We fantasize about it. We joke about living in a cabin in the woods away from 5G cell towers and bustling city streets. Sounds awesome. But does it really? Is that what we want? Secluded and completely offline? I don’t actually think so. Technology is awesome. The internet is the greatest invention in the history of man kind. We don’t want to give that up. But I think we all agree that we’ve flown too close to the sun, and now we need to backpedal. I think at the end of the day, what we really want, is not less time on technology, but more, real connection with the people and things that we love. Which means that we’re all in this together. Everyone needs to come forward. Self improvement as an individual is helpful, sure, but in another way it’s useless if you don’t at least try to get your little clan to grab on and join you in the process. Everyone needs to be more present. Everyone needs to lay down their phones. Everyone needs to get into the game of cards, into the concert, and into the tradition for it to be meaningful. Our desire to reconnect with our less online selves is so obvious. But why? For what? For who? For each other. This will never work if we don’t do it together.

This essay is my way of telling you that I cant do this without you. I’m tired of being the only person in the room. I need the version of you who gives me all of you, not the one with their head buried in some shit app. The pendulum has swung too far, and I refuse to sink into beautiful moments alone anymore. So I guess this is me asking you to come back. Not to the past, but to this moment. To each other.

I know my family will read this, and it’s no hard feelings, because I just want what’s best for all of us. I think, that at the end of the day, it will be the moments where we’re really all truly together that we remember—and I’m terrified that we’re letting them slip away without even noticing.

Thanks for reading,

— Dante

I attribute a large chunk of my personal growth to the seemingly simple practice of writing in a journal. Everything about my life has improved since I started putting pen to paper. Stronger relationships, better health, a more lucrative career, fulfilling hobbies, goals and purpose. The list goes on. On the surface, journaling doesn’t seem like it would do a whole lot. Monkey write on paper so monkey feel better? Yes, but journaling is like golf, chess, and meditation—hit ball into hole, capture king, sit and think about nothing. Ogres and onions. Layers. Simple on the surface with a complicated core. Letting the demons spill out onto the pages of a pocket notebook will help with anxiety, sure, but there’s so much more to it than meets the eye—something I failed to notice when I started.

Today, I’m going to talk about those hidden features that only start to make sense once you start. Today I’m going to talk about why you should journal for the rest of your life.

Shall we?

Self Discovery

“In life, the challenge is not so much to figure out how best to play the game; the challenge is to figure out what game you’re playing” - Kwame Anthony Appiah

Most people are abysmal at viewing themselves objectively. They’re overly emotional and sensitive. They lack depth and control. They lack understanding and self awareness. Most people take the hand they’re dealt over and over again without question. They board a random airplane and then get disappointed when they don’t land in Monaco. All because they never really asked themselves who they are and what they wanted in the first place.

Think about how easy it is to see what’s good or bad for someone else. Their shortcomings and strengths are clear. The emotion vanishes and makes room for objectivity and logic. You can tell the boyfriend isn’t right for them. You can see they’re lazy. You see how their addictions work against them. You can see what they can’t. All because you view them from the third person. The solution to the problem—the path forward—is so clear.

Our brains are remarkable at persuasion. Convincing us to stay comfortable. “We need the alcohol.” “She won’t do it again.” Wrong. We are stupid animals. What manifests in our mind is often not reality. We need to learn how to detach, and view ourselves from an eagle eye.

When you write, you’re forced to slow down and articulate what’s actually happening. Not what you’re telling yourself is happening. What do you like? What don’t you like? What gives you energy? What drains it? Where could you be better? What have you been doing well? What are you good at? If you want to change your life, the first step is knowing who you are and what you want. The second step is understanding how you can get there. You wouldn’t expect a monkey to thrive in an aquarium, so why treat yourself any differently? Right now you have no idea whether you’re a sea creature or a jungle cat.

When you write consistently, you begin recognizing patterns in your own behavior. You learn what ideas you should discard and where you should double down. Themes emerge. You iterate until you lab rat your way to the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Patterns

Human beings are pattern recognition machines. We evolved to piece together our environment so as to not get eaten by lions or fall off cliffs. Today, at best, we use it to identify the trendy new bagel shop or the popular, low quality Shein sweater. Journaling lets us resuscitate this ancient skill for something truly beneficial—realizing our own potential. When you write consistently, you inevitably start to make sense of yourself.

Imagine writing this every day for a week:

Monday: was late today

Tuesday: was late today

Wednesday: was late today

Thursday: was late today

Friday: was late today

Lightbulb — “Shit, I’m always late!”

Maybe you notice that every time you hang out with that jabroni Joe Shmo you feel drained? Maybe Greek yogurt gives you a silky smooth complexion? Perhaps you feel better on 7 hours of sleep than 8? Who knows. The point is, your brain is relentlessly looking for ways to connect dots, and journaling serves it up on a golden platter. It forces you to pay attention—you cannot change what you don’t see. It sends the snowball barreling down the mountain and once it gets momentum change is easy. Magically, shaving 5-10 minutes off your morning routine isn’t that hard. You become a mini zookeeper on yourself and the gap between awareness and action shrinks dramatically.

Tracking

“What gets measured gets managed” - Peter Drucker

Writing things down makes them important. We take notes in meetings, concoct grocery lists, and craft hearty to do lists. Journaling, quite masterfully, makes things that are seemingly mundane and useless, a priority. By tracking our habits we can use this to our advantage.

Every morning, I weigh myself and write down my weight—body composition is important to me so I document it. This makes it easy for me to recognize when I haven’t been taking my diet or training seriously. If my weight jumps up over a week or two (and that’s not my intention) then I can rapidly course correct. Most people only track their weight once (at their annual physical) before they realize they’ve gained 15 pounds and now have some serious work to do. Log what’s important to you. Track things that you want to progress in. Even if you fail, it will help you set micro goals and self actualize. How many miles will I run this month? Did I go to the bathroom today? Did I text a friend I haven’t talked to in a while? How many cups of coffee did I have? When did I go to sleep? Did I study Japanese? Did I write? Did I eat my fermented vegetables? Did I study for my interview? Did I spend money today? Did I read?

Frankenstein yourself.

Examples of my journals are below.

The list of possibilities is infinite. When you design yours, be creative and make it fun. All of the examples seen at the end of this essay align with something I’m working towards. Daily tracking lets you focus on the now—controlling the inputs—without hyper-fixating on the end goal. The outcome isn’t in your control, but your actions today, are. You won’t one shot the boss in a day, but you can stack small daily habits to build something meaningful over time. Journaling is there to hold your hand along the way.

Brandon Sanderson—one of the greatest fantasy and science fiction authors of all time—often emphasizes that a satisfying story follows a transformative arc. The protagonist begins broken—battered by flaws, losses, or external forces—then progresses through trials that test and reshape them, culminating in a reflective payoff. The “I was broken but now I’m whole” moment. The looking back moment. The “look how far I’ve come.”

You’re writing your own story every day. So why not document it and have something cool to look back on?

Memory

How many times have you sworn to yourself that you’d remember, only to forget an hour later? The assignment you understood in class but forgot by the time you got home. The grocery list you filed away in your brain, only to realize when you got home that you forgot toilet paper. Maybe you chalk this up to shitty memory, maybe ego, maybe both. The point is, it’s really not your fault. You’re just using the tool you’ve been given incorrectly—you’re trying to use a star screwdriver on a flathead screw.

Whether you have S-tier memory or can’t remember how to spell Wednesday, the human brain isn’t designed to hang onto the details. It’s remarkable at getting the gist of things—at holding onto the outline of a memory—but extremely poor at remembering specifics. What makes this sad is that the tiny details are often what matter—really, it’s the micro-moments within the memory that makes things meaningful. Yes, you remember being happy on Christmas, on vacation, or on your birthday—but you don’t actually know why. You remember how you felt, that the trip was fun, but not much else. It’s actually all of the little things that happened on those days that made it worth remembering—and you remember none of them.

You remember your 20th birthday, but not dad’s tragically bad one liner? You remember the wedding, but not the 6 year old ripping the Fortnite dance for ten seconds?

It’s the culmination of 100s of little moments across an event that actually give you the feeling of excitement when you think back—journaling is a beautiful little time capsule that helps you capture these deep moments that are so easily forgotten.

Every night I write about my day because every day there are minuscule moments that are so awesome I want to remember.

12/23/25 - Girlfriend ate all of the cookie dough out of our ice cream and handed it to me like she did nothing wrong.

11/5/25 - Girlfriend dropped container of eggs and blamed me—we cracked up over it (pun intended)

9/7/25 – Had a sausage sandwich at the Steelers game and it tasted terrible, but we all pretended it was good

7/5/24 – Played DayZ until my eyes hurt with X, Y, and Z. We made it super far first run—went to bed at 4AM on the same day I ran a marathon.

6/3/24 – Went to the driving range and was smoking my 5 iron—probably hit 25 pure in a row which has never happened.

These are so stupid, but I’m happy just reading them—and they’re all memories I had completely forgotten.

It’s the details that make the memory. I want to be able to look back one day and remember the random moments that actually made me smile, and that alone is enough to force me to journal forever. Imagine years and years of these little moments captured, and the beauty of rereading them. Without my journal, these lovely, joyous moments that had me smiling ear to ear would be lost forever, and that makes me so sad. It’s not that you don’t remember these things happening—you just don’t think to recall them. As I read each of those above, I remember them all now, but I never would have had I not written about them. If you decide to write in a journal for any reason at all, I think it should be this.

Creative Outlet

Journaling isn’t strictly a productivity tool—it’s a way to express yourself, a way to let that dormant creativity run rampant. Draw pictures of plants and ugly self portraits. Practice a language and take notes on coral reefs. Tape photographs from trips and write poetry. Make calendars and conjure up plots and bar charts. Use the scientific method on a study about olive oil, or on yourself. There’s a million things you can do, which is what makes it so amazing. It becomes exactly what you want it to be.

We live in a time where we consume relentlessly, never releasing the pressure valve. Zero creation. Eating forever and never excreting. The world is struggling because no one is letting it out. If you have no means of creation in your repertoire, let journaling become your little force de resistance. A way to express what’s been lost through years of doomscrolling and chronic online-ness—your release, your outlet, your little way of saying fuck you to the regime. It’s difficult at first, but once you sit down for a few minutes, it gets surprisingly fun.

Self-Expression

Journaling sharpens your thoughts and improves self awareness. You become more comfortable with yourself and your ideas—what you do and don’t believe and how you want to portray yourself. There’s less guesswork which makes you more comfortable and confident out in the world. When you’ve already worked through your ideas on paper, you know what you want and where you should be going—and there’s no distractions. No need to put on performances because you believe with conviction in who you are. You’ve mapped out pitfalls of decisions and honed your own strategy for success. Then, when it’s game time, there’s no stagnation, no hesitation, just execution.

This newfound confidence and understanding makes you a better speaker. When you write, you’re forced to condense your ideas into what’s most important to keep the reader engaged. There’s no room for fluff and stuttering. You’re essentially practicing articulation and fluency, but through a different medium. This extrapolates into how you use life’s most sacred instrument—your voice.

It transcends into conversation and the mark you leave on the world. Self awareness and introspection are key to ping ponging with randos. You stop blurting shit out because you’ve already processed your thoughts privately. You become okay with not being the center of attention. You find yourself assessing the conversation objectively, almost from the third person, in the moment. You make way to be interested and not interesting, making you more memorable and unique than most.

Breadcrumbing

“Pages are more patient than people” - Anne Frank

When I first started, my journal was something I turned to when shit wasn’t going my way. A little tool to help me vanquish demons and work through challenges. It was absolutely beneficial—but I was hopping on one foot when I could’ve been running. I wasn’t perpetually in death spirals. I was happy a lot too.

Journaling is a way to breadcrumb yourself. Reflect and write when things are going well. Then, when you find yourself in the depths once more, you have a candy trail back to the top that’s catered directly to you. What were you doing when you felt good? You have a log. Matthew McConaughey talks about this at length—keep recording your life even when it’s good, and use those records as a playbook for future decisions.

Make it Fun

If you choose to give it a shot—don’t overthink it. Make it fun for yourself. Keep putting your ass in the chair because that’s when the movie gets good. Commit to 1 minute. Or 1 sentence. Write down your favorite part of the day. Write about what went well, or what didn’t. Capture cool moments and shit that made you laugh.

In my opinion, one of the keys to a fulfilling life is realizing your potential. I believe journaling is one of, if not the most powerful levers you can pull to support that process. I will do it for the rest of my life, without question, and I think you should too. I truly believe that journaling can can change your life, because for me, outside of exercise, nothing has been more beneficial than putting a little pen to paper.

Thank you for reading and godspeed.

- Dante

My Journals for Ideation/Reference:

Pen/Paper I Use

• Muji Smooth Gel Ink Ballpoint Pen Knock Type 0.5mm

• Moleskine Large Classic Notebook Dotted

most days suck. most days are monotonous, mundane, and mediocre. routine down to the minute. youre a world class clock watcher, spending the entire day thinking about what youre going to do later (except you never do). this leaves you feeling gross inside. empty. wondering what the fuck youre doing.

sadly, for most of us, this is life (so long as you work a job you hate). the machine is a disease. your brain is sprinting all day, and by 6:00, all it can manage is a crawl. so it reaches for the low hanging fruit.

social media. youtube. live streams. shitty food. sports betting. the things that make your brain and body slow. the things that bloat your life. when you go to bed at night your day feels like a waste, because it is.

monday feels like tuesday. tuesday feels like wednesday. youre a hamster on a wheel. you never get to do the things you want. not because you dont have time but because youre a shitty decision maker.

the things you want to do (the things youre not doing) are exactly what you need to do to not feel like shit. so, in my opinion, 3 things need to happen before you go off to do whatever it is that you dont wanna do, so that even the shittiest days feel somewhat meaningful.

days on end with out progress, achievement, and substance are how you ruin your life. surrendering to the conveyor belt youve been placed on is a scam. resist arrest (nothing will happen). get off.

here are 3 things you need to do every morning to make your shitty monday-friday 1% less ass:

1. something for yourself

the entire day is about everyone but you. so wake up and claim whats yours before the world steals it from you. theres nothing worse than getting up to do shit you dont want to do. it makes everyday miserable. i would hit snooze too. its terrible. why would you be excited to wake up when you need to droid away in spreadsheets for 8 hours?

get up and do something for yourself. it helps you ease into the day. you plant the flag in something you want before the void destroys your brain. get up. watch tv. play games. check your email. do something that you “just dont have time for.”

personally, i wake up, make a coffee and read. i spend the whole first hour of the day doing nothing and i fucking love it. noone can stop me. noone can bother me. its quiet. its peaceful. and its mine.

yes, id love to read after work, but my brain feels like poprocks. too fried to sink into a book about philosophy. time stolen.

doing something you enjoy makes getting out of bed exciting.

2. exercise

i know, boring.

exercising makes everything about life better. if you dont, youre probably a miserable human being who complains and makes excuses and points fingers.

that, or you “dont have time” which is a lie fed to you by other carrot danglers who are insecure about their inability to make it a consistent habit. newsflash, this is how you make it consistent.

i love it, and I dont want to do it after work either. the session is lazy and im tired. the world is draining.

life without daily movement is miserable.

if its already a habit, you know how important it is.

get up early, and train your body, so that you can have an ego complex walking into your office. any chip on the shoulder you can possess makes a difference. in a world full of bellyachers, it isnt hard to stand out when the normal person is showing up 25 minutes after their alarm.

plus youll walk through the rest of your day feeling like a corgi on rabies and it feels amazing. if you want more energy, this is how you get it.

wake up early and exercise. its probably the most important habit you can adopt as a human being.

3. food

everybody eats. we all love food. food is fuel. when youre not fueled, youre angry. personally, im a monstrosity. it consumes the mind.

if you care about how you perform, look, and feel, its all downstream from from your diet.

so wake up and get in a good meal. treat yourself like a grown up for once. youll be less irritated because you wont be dreaming of lunch the whole first half of the day.

not only that, but most people opt for the easy, convenient option. the shit. the slop. wake up and have a good meal. control 1/3 of your consumption right then and there. establish the healthy eating habit when its in your hands. while youre the gamemaker.

youll be less grouchy and youll feel more energized. youll eat less of the gross cafeteria food and food wont be the only thing on your mind.

wake up and eat something good.

why cant you do these things after work?

because you never have. the ocean is choppy late in the day. your muscles are weak and you can barely stay above water. in the morning the weather is nice and the ocean is calm. perfect for a swim.

forced time manegement

this strategy forces you to manage your time. since you need to be at work a few hours later, youre basically giving yourself a little timer. you have to do the things that you laid out. theres a deadline. no room for procrastination. its all momentum. downhill running, and it bleeds into the rest of the day.

“give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe”

— abe lincoln

wake up 2 hours earlier and youve done more than most of the population before 8 am. freelo.

golden hour

in time, these 2 hours will become the best part of every day. something you look forward to. something you never wanna give up. stop being a panzy ass little donkey and get up when your alarm goes off so you can go do the things you know are good for you. do something fun, exercise, get a good breakfast, and top it all with a coffee. mm chefs kiss. youll be flying.

thanks for reading.

—dante

my brain:

idea: do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself

song: i dont trust myself (without loving you)

book: the will of many

the world is hard. it puts you in a box. people die. shit doesnt go your way. reality sets in. you conform. friends turn on you. the dog gets sent back. you get stressed. you get out of shape.

theres so many inputs. youve lost yourself in the chaos. youve wandered too far from the path.

you start asking yourself what happened? what happened to the carelessness? the magic? the curiosity and excitement? where did old you go?

if youre lost, fear not, you must not go far. theyre still in there.

never let the kid in you die. little buddy is still in there fighting for their life, and good news… theyve got more dog in them than you ever did.

all you gotta do is dig em out.

whats life like as an adult?

“shambles”

— trafalgar law

like it does for most young 20 year olds, there came a day where i found myself asking, “is this it?”

grinding valorant, working a boring remote job, consuming tiktok reels and jersey mikes on the regular.

shit i hope not.

i got lucky enough to ask myself the right question when i needed it most.

what was i doing when i was happiest and healthiest?

not what i was doing, thats for sure.

what was the answer? when? how old was i?

i was 7. whatd i do when i was 7? easy.

i moved my body a ton. i played sports. i got outside. i spent time with friends. i ate clean (i was fortunate to have a mom that fed me like the professional athlete i thought i was). i did good in school. i read a ton of books. i loved talking with people. i was a little fucking spaz.

how to rally

not all at once, but thats what i started doing.

i stopped gaming 15 hours a day. i started training. i went outside every day. i ate like my mom fed me. i started seeking adventure. following curiosity. i started creating. asking questions. i started to see friends (work in progress). i started reading again. i went back to my roots.

i called up old me and let his interests and desires become my boomer selves.

i started riding the back of the shopping cart again.

i started running up the stairs on all fours again.

i started doing handstands against walls for no reason.

little me was back, and he was a terror.

you know what happened?

life got colorful and vibrant.

turn to younger you

chances are, you were happiest when you were a little kid. when you didnt give a shit about what anyone thought of you.

bring it full circle. everything that you loved as a young gun is what probably what you love doing now. lean into what you gravitated towards when noone was driving the boat for you.

youre not gone forever, youve just lost your way - and you will again.

theres a permanent lighthouse in all of us. all we gotta do is ask the little rascal to turn it on.

every now and then i wonder what little me would think of how im doing now.

at one point im sure he wouldve been so sad to see how far hed fallen. how sad it would make him to see what hes got to look forward to. but not anymore.

dont let little you drown in the nonsense.

live more like the kid you used to be.

thanks for reading and godspeed.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

-dante

my brain lately:

interest - interior design

article of clothing - uniqlo zip hoodie

meal - crock pot roasts full of beauitfuly collagenous slow cooked meat

the intern isn’t stupid. the guy at the gym isn’t lazy. you’re just being an ass.

everyone’s going a different speed. some people are sprinting, some people are barely walking. but what about you? what are you doing? probably too busy judging everyone else to really take a look.

the new hire who seems lost? it’s their second day.

the kid glued to their phone was handed an ipad at age 3, they didn’t choose this.

the person who dresses “weird” wasn’t born into money, sorry they don’t have hermès jewelry.

what gives you the right to judge?

even if it doesn’t look like it to you, people are trying their best. life is hard enough without everyone else’s judgment, so why are you throwing leaves on their fire? who are you to judge? why do you care more about someone else’s life?

it’s gross and lame and your mom would be disappointed.

oh wait, i know why! because it’s easier to zoom in on everyone else’s flaws as opposed to addressing your own. just because you think you’re a formula one car (you’re not) doesn’t mean everyone else has to be. stay in your own lane.

turn the other cheek (inward)

“be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.”

— marcus aurelius

imagine if instead of criticizing everyone else you placed that same scrutiny on yourself? you’d be hercules by now.

what other people do does not concern you. the war is within. it’s you vs you. that’s it. stop being a gluttonous pig of judgment and turn the spotlight on yourself.

“the only opponent you have to beat is yourself, the way you used to be.”

— haruki murakami

whether you find yourself judging others or being judged by them, the solution is the same: focus on yourself.

focus on what you can control. focus on what’s in front of you. focus on your battle, your progress, your trajectory.

the only thing that should concern you is where you’re headed. not where you are, or where anyone else is, but where you’re going. are you better than you were yesterday?

if you repeated the same actions you’re taking daily for the next 30 years, where would you end up? that’s it. that’s what matters.

that split second of judgement is time that could be used to reflect on your own shortcomings.

since when did you get a free pass?

rebel against judgement

“you can wake up and decide to no longer be a loser.”

— joe rogan

the world has enough critics. be different.

be kind. the world is in shambles as it is. everyone you meet is fighting battles you know nothing about. you dont like the weight of everyone elses judgement, so why contribute to the problem?

treat others how you wish to be treated. choose compassion over criticism. choose curiosity over condemnation.

what if that person is trying their best with what they have? wouldn’t that make you feel like shit?

don’t conform to the culture of judgment. be better. be brave. be the person who lifts others up instead of tearing them down. kind is cool, trust.

thank you for reading and as always, godspeed.

— dante

my brain:

song: aint got nothing on you - leon bridges

idea: gotta strike while the iron is hot

quote: “no man can truly learn, grow, or become wise within himself.” - vis telimus

i was an abomination this past weekend.

a gluttonous pig. completely out of control.

a billion hotdogs, burgers, snacks, and drinks. i 20x’d my carbohydrate intake and felt like baron harkonnen from dune after 4 days of saying yes to everything that entered my 200 degree field of view.

after annihilating half a bag of snyders pretzels, i was not quite horizontal, but figuratively that’s how i felt. leeeeaaaaning back in my chair, with a lake view, carb coma’d out, feeling anything but lean and vital.

a close friend of mine, sitting nearby, broke the silence by saying “how do you do it? how do you stay in such good shape? youre eating like there won’t be food tomorrow. so what, truly, do you think it is? why do you think so many people struggle?”

good question.

“genetics,” i said.

his question was good because he wanted more than the classic “eat less move more propaganda.”

most people already know what they need to do to be healthy but still feel stuck.

im not special.

just like you, i do my best to eat clean, exercise, and get good sleep.

then what makes me successful?

heres what i told him:

1. i say no a lot

2. i get back on the horse fast

no

most people only see the decisions you make when youre in front of them, so seemingly, to my friend, im always saying yes.

yes to the drink, yes to the doughnut, yes to another slice of pizza, yes to skipping the workout, yes to sleeping like shit.

well yeah, every time im with him im a terrible example of what health looks like.

but he hasnt seen the series of no’s i’ve taken between times weve crossed paths.

thousands of no’s.

i say no, a lot. more than i probably should. but success with regards to physique IS saying no.

no to the bread. no to snooze. no to the party. no to the beers.

no’s internally, no’s externally.

most people say yes to everything.

most people aren’t 12% body fat year round.

if you wanna be like everyone else, keep acting like them.

be the black sheep.

get back in the saddle

alright, so yeah i was a complete moron this weekend.

thursday through sunday i dont know if i had a vegetable.

but heres where i’m different.

monday, i was 100% perfect, like normal. back into flow. no hiccups. right back into the grind.

i think that after “having too much fun” most people are slow to get back to baseline. theyre slow to respond. they are floppy rubber bands.

“being healthy during the week” is actually being healthy tuesday, wednesday, thursday, because monday and friday bleed into those days of bad behavior.

your 5 days on, 2 days off is actually 4 days off, 3 days on.

friday night you blow up. saturday you’re reeling, blow up again. sunday you dont recover either because footballs on, wings, pizza. monday youre too tired from it all.

people blow up their hard work on the weekend and theyre slow to get back on track.

this whole week ive heard people complaining about how theyre not recovered from the weekend.

they havent gone to the gym because theyre too tired and their diet is sloppy.

you dont need me to tell you that hangover food isnt meat and broccoli.

you gotta get back to it. you gotta get back in the saddle. after the weekends up there cant be any blur.

its gotta be 5 good days, 2 bad. or 1 bad. or none.

its really gotta be a majority of the time. not in theory, but in reality.

think about it.

tldr

say no more often than you say yes. and when you mess up, bounce back.

you want it or you dont and it really is that simple.

in this game, majority rules. math is math.

just my 2 cents. if youre stuck give it a shot.

(this is more than just health advice)

thanks for reading and godspeed.

-dante

my brain:

song: kiss of life - sade

idea: go to the movies alone

skincare tip: fix your gut

just 4-5 minutes of intense physical activity per day can nearly halve your risk of major cardiovascular events.

people who say they dont have time to exercise are making value based decisions, not facing real constraints!

if you want to live better for longer, training your heart is non negotiable.

this is how you get better at cardio, and how you strengthen your heart.

heres the plan in 3 steps:

1. make it a habit

2. nail/understand the fundamentals

3. build the pyramid

cardio is a game where you play against yourself. dont let other people discourage you. slow and steady.

1. make it a habit

knowledge without adherence is useless. the biggest win is making cardio a habit.

start by blocking off 30 minutes, 2 days per week.

1 hour per week is .89% of all waking hours.

these are non negotiable appointments, not optional slots.

start with walking.

if you cant show up to 2 weekly walks, youre never going to be able to progress any further.

only when your appointments become routine should you consider leveling up.

if you want to try jumping into real cardio, be my guest, but in my experience, going from zero to one is the hardest step.

we are aiming for as little friction as possible to set you up for success.

2. nail/understand the fundamentals

time to choose an exercise.

whats most important is that you select a modality that you can perform safely, consistently, and pain free for the entire duration of the session:

s tier: run, bike, swim

a tier: row, stair master, elliptical, ruck, jumprope

b tier: be creative

c and d tier: there are no bad choices

f tier: burpees

now that you have an exercise, some science:

our goal with cardio is to build a big pyramid. you want a wide base and a high peak.

in other words, a strong powerful heart that can endure.

we dont want a skinny pyramid thats super tall. we dont want a wide pyramid that super short. we want as much area under the curve as possible. we want an equilateral triangle.

we do this with two approaches, both required:

> slow cardio

> fast cardio

you need both to build your pyramid.

slow cardio

the goal with slow cardio is to keep your heart rate at a level that pushes you slightly, but that you could hold “forever.”

it is extremely, extremely important to get this right.

your own effort level is the best gauge.

a few tricks:

> talk test: you can talk, but its annoying enough youd rather not.

> nose breathing: go as fast as you can without using your mouth.

> tech/bio nerds: this is zone 2 training, keep your heart rate at roughly 135-155 bpm, although it can vary.

dont overdo it. dont go too fast.

your zone 2 might not be a run!!!

thats okay!

when i started, my zone 2 pace was a painful 10:30-11:00 minutes per mile.

sticking with it got me down to 8:00.

this is why people say they suck at cardio!

what you consider your “jog” might put you into the next heart rate zone—zone 3—where lactate builds up faster than your body can process it.

youre not a bad runner, and youre not bad at cardio, youre training in a way that your body cant sustain.

you need to be patient. you need to build your aerobic base—the pace you can hold all day even if thats an uphill walk.

spend time in zone 2, just below where it starts to feel hard. in time, your easy pace will become what used to feel impossible.

benefits:

> burns fat like nobodys business.

> boosts endurance and mitochondrial function.

> improves heart efficiency and metabolic health.

> cuts injury risk and speeds up recovery.

fast cardio

the goal here is to spike your heart rate to near max once per week.

short, brutal, but worth it.

be creative:

> 6x 30 second sprints with 30 second walk rests.

> run up stairs, walk down.

> as many kettlebell swings as you can in 5 minutes.

> all out mile.

> interval or vo2 max sessions (my favorite is the 4x4 method 4 minutes on, 4 minutes off, 4 times)

an all out mile takes under 10 minutes but pays massive dividends. this is your most important session. cut it last if life gets crazy.

benefits:

> strengthens your heart, boosts hrv, lowers resting heart rate.

> improves hormone signaling and vo2 max.

> makes you faster.

where to start:

if youve been sedentary and are ready to move past walking:

start with 2 days of 30 minutes of slow cardio.

once youre comfortable, switch to 1 day slow, 1 day fast.

if youre already active your minimum is:

> 1 day of 30 minutes slow cardio

> 1 day of fast cardio

dont overthink it. do one session stupidly slow. do one session as hard as you can. thats the foundation for a stronger heart.

3. build the pyramid

one session of each (slow/fast) is maintenance (the baseline) but once youre solid with your 2 weekly cardio appointments, if you want more, you can start adding in sessions, time, or intensity.

for slow cardio:

stretch session(s) to 45-60 minutes.

gold standard: 180 minutes of zone 2 per week (there is no upper limit).

caveat: if 1 hour per week is all you can commit, fantastic.

for fast cardio:

stick to one all out session per week simple but tough.

my non negotiable protocol:

> tuesday: vo2 max or interval session

> thursday: 1 hour zone 2

> saturday: 2 hours zone 2

most of the time i do more. sometimes i do less. but i always show up for 1 of each session, just to make sure im greasing the engine.

thats it.

this combo builds a heart thats tough, fast, and ready for anything.

youll have more energy, sleep deeper, look sharper, feel better. food even tastes better.

this isnt optional, its how you age better and live longer.

show up to your appointments.

thank you for reading, and godspeed.

— dante​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​